Marc Haege, a former junior in history, is described by his fraternity brothers in Sigma Pi as a kind and caring person with a quick-witted sense of humor.
This sentence, these 28 words, is the only way for you to get to know Marc Haege.
You cannot text him, send him a Facebook friend request, and you won’t meet him in any of your classes or at a baseball game.
All of these scenarios are impossible, because in December 2010, Marc Haege took his own life.
Even at a university the size of N.C. State, with more than 30,000 students and faculty, some students like Haege find themselves feeling alone, with no way out of this feeling other than death.
But on the three month anniversary of his death, Sigma Pi honored Haege’s memory by hosting a “Break the Silence” 5k to support suicide prevention and remembrance of all of those students who, like Haege, have been lost to suicide.
Over 200 students, faculty, and members of the Campus community participated in this event, raising over $2,000 for the N.C. State Counseling Center.
For Marion Haege, ’08 alum and sister of Marc Haege, this is more than a simple donation.
“I’m very honored that they did this event, and that there was such a huge turnout, especially for a first time event. I really want to thank everyone who came,” Haege said. “This is such a great way to remember him…and I think it is part of the healing process.”
Haege was not the only participant to comment on the massive number of participants for such a new event. Gary Cunha, suicide prevention worker and presenter at the event, said run was more successful in its first year than many suicide prevention races that have been around for multiple years.
“For its first time around, with over 200 people, it has had an extraordinary turnout,” Cunha said. “Our ‘Out of the Darkness’ walk had maybe 60 people at it in its first year, and just surpassed 400 people after its fifth year. I’m glad to know young people are getting involved with this issue.”
According to Michael Nguyen, junior in business administration and Sigma Pi brother, the fraternity has every intention of not only continuing to hold the event in future years, but to also increase the number of supporters beyond what was possible this year.
“Being at Centennial Campus, the number of participants is limited to 300 people, and this year, with only advertising a little through Facebook, we came really close to meeting that limit,” Nguyen said. “Next year, we hope they’ll increase the limit for this event because it’s really exploded into an event that was much larger than we thought it would be. We actually had to turn counseling centers away because we didn’t have enough space.”
According to Cunha, the willingness for the community to step up and publicly honor and support an event designed to emphasis suicide prevention is quite the shift in culture from years past.
”When I was their age, suicide was a very taboo subject—definitely not polite table conversation—and it was very uncomfortable for anyone to really talk about,” Cunha said. “But this generation is so much more accustomed to sharing their feelings, even about this, and they’re bringing the second largest killer of their age group out of the darkness.”
At the same time, Cunha said suicide does not only affect the person whose life is taken.
“Suicide leaves a lot of people in its wake—more people than just the one whose life is physically ended,” Cunha said. “If you’ve lost someone, you’re in a unique position to reach out to other survivors, because you know the pain. You’re dealing with the stigma, with the suddenness and the guilt.”
According to Cunha, people, especially those who are 18 to 24 years old, who are experiencing suicidal thoughts often can’t see beyond their depression, and need help to prevent the progression to suicide.
“People in this situation feel like they don’t matter, that no one loves them. They feel like it’s only going to get worse, and that suicide is their only option. Technically, suicide is a solution, but it isn’t the right one, and they need help finding the right solution,” Cunha said. “Look out for each other and be a good friend. You can—and should—use that relationship you have with them and ask them the question: ‘Are you having thoughts about taking your own life?’ It’s easier than CPR.”
But once that conversation starts, Cunha said it is even more important for the conversation to be seen through to its completion.
“If they come out to you about this validate this because it undoubtedly took a lot for them to do so,” Cunha said. “But once they talk to you about this, take the next step with them. Escort them for treatment, whether it’s going directly to the Counseling Center or calling the suicide hotline with them.”
For Cunha, this event is a huge stepping stone for the N.C. State community to realize there is hope for people in these situations—hope that change is possible.
“When I was told about this event, I knew I had to be here,” Cunha said. “By and large, and around the edges, suicide is preventable. This event is one more step to show people how true this is.”
While Marion Haege said she was grateful for Sigma Pi’s efforts to remember her brother, she also said she is happy they are trying to move forward to prevent such a tragedy from happening to anyone else.
“I want people to know there are places for them to go, and how many people care,” Haege said. “If we can prevent other people from committing suicide, it would be amazing.”
Alpha Tau Omega also co-sponsored this event because they experienced a similar situation with losing a brother of their fraternity last year, Spencer David Meyer.
To read more about the stories about Marc and Spencer, please visit: http://www.ncsusigmapi.com/run/our_story.
Note: If you or someone you know may be experiencing suicidal thoughts, be proactive. There are resources available, including the N.C. State Counseling Center and the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).