College students stay busy with schoolwork, job obligations and various clubs and organizations on campus. With numerous activities going on, fitting a relationship into a student’s schedule is not easy.
Some would say students involved in long distance relationships face greater adversities, while others say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
“The hardest part about the distance is that we have to take turns driving to see one another, which is very frustrating,” Danielle Wilburn , a junior in political science, said.
Wilburn , who lives in Zebulon , said she already commutes to and from campus everyday, which takes up a lot of her time and gas money. In addition, Wilburn holds a job off campus as a shift manager.
According to Wilburn , arguments over who puts more effort into the relationship often arise. After two years, Wilburn said she realized that most of the relationship’s issues stem from a lack of communication.
“We rarely have the chance to be together,” Wilburn said.
Communication is an essential part of a long distance relationship. Students often video chat and text message their partners as a means to stay in touch. Social networking websites provide another platform for relationships to blossom.
While on campus, students look to Facebook when they are in between classes and have a moment to catch up on their social lives. The social networking site allows anyone to share photos, status updates and chat online. Other networking sites, such as Twitter and Google, continue to grow in popularity as well.
“My boyfriend is very involved in school and so am I,” Kailey Miller, a junior in communications, said.
According to Miller, it can be difficult to make time for one another with their busy schedules. Miller is the president of the University’s Public Relations Student Society of America, and her boyfriend is a member of the UNC-Chapel Hill sailing club and treasurer of the Carolina Pre-Medical Association. Furthermore, he tutors and is an active hospital volunteer.
Penciling in a relationship is important for students who want to feel connected to their significant other. For many, college is a great time to explore dating and to learn what commitment truly entails. In order to keep the fire burning students utilize time on the weekends to see their significant others. Getting the most out of a student’s limited free time is vital.
Spending more time with a partner and less time cramming in school activities is something several University students wish for.
“More time together would be nice but we’ve kind of gotten used to it,” Miller said.
With the effort it takes to keep grades up and maintain involvement with the University, some students opt out of relationships altogether. For them, it is a choice to stay single as their way of maintaining focus.
Post graduation is an exciting, yet stressful time when several of life’s most important decisions have to be made. Relationships are tested in ways they hadn’t been before. Sometimes one partner is still in college or may decide to continue their education in graduate school while the other is looking for a job.
Students still dating after graduation experience new challenges as well. Many couples choose to live closer to each other, and it is not uncommon for them to decide to marry or to move in together. Any couple that takes their relationship to the next level faces obstacles but college graduates are faced with several changes. New job requirements, a new salary and budget changes are common stressors. Upon graduation, a many students are required to pay back school loans.
Communications professor Christina Moss said, “Any time people develop patterns of behavior that are independent, and are then put in situations in which another person needs to be considered, it can be an adjustment.”
The expectations former students have of their partners are sometimes different than the reality.
“Some relationships may be able to sustain these adjustments with good communication and trust, while others may not,” Moss said.
It’s not simply about how often people talk in a long distance relationship; sustainment involves both parties sharing full disclosure and carefully listening to each other’s needs.