When is the last time you sent a text message? Messaged someone via Facebook? Posted something on Twitter? Chances are it wasn’t long ago. Now, consider the contents. Was it important? Did it really build intimacy in the relationship shared by you and the recipient? It seems we are so lost in a sea of social media that this technological communication is quickly becoming our primary means of interaction.
We know so much about the happenings of people’s lives, yet we don’t really know the people themselves. These many forms of social media are convenient and should be used as a tool to aid communication between individuals. Social media should never supersede face to face communication. We have become so engrossed in and obsessed with our communication devices, we fail to pay attention to each other even in the company of friends.
I saw a couple last week, in the Brickyard. They were holding each other’s hands, yet they both were texting with their free hand. No words were spoken between them, it was as if the presence of the other was not even acknowledged. This may not be where all of us are in our relationships, but it is the lonely destination of many.
How many friends do you have on Facebook? Now how many of those people do you actually know on a first name basis? I’m equally guilty. I have hundreds of friends on Facebook, many of whom I have never spoken to in person. One should consider spending less time in front of a computer viewing online gossip, and entertain the possibility of spending more time with those in their life who matter.
When we call thousands of people our friends, we devalue the word. A friend is not someone with whom you share a social network. A friend is someone in whom you confide, someone with whom you share memories, someone whose company you enjoy.
Do you remember a time before you had a cell phone? Remember when the regional library was the only place you could use the once mystical internet? Without easy access to technologically enhanced communication, we experienced greater difficulty in keeping up with each other, yet we knew people on a deeper level.
Relationships were closer then, friends spent more time talking to each other, and families connected around a dinner table. Instead of learning about your best friend’s crush via Facebook, you heard it first hand from your friend. Pictures weren’t posted online, they were kept in books which were opened and laughed over with company.
A Friday afternoon was not spent scouring Twitter in search of a party; it was spent in the woods, talking and laughing as you ran around with your best friend. Life was different then, unfortunately that simplicity will never return. What I call for is not a dismissal of technological gain, but a careful consideration about how that technology is being used. Yes, we need computers. Yes, we need the internet. But only in moderation.
I am also guilty of wasting too much of my life in front of a screen. These habits die hard, but they can be broken. Consider the amount of time you spend per day using these many forms of social media. Compare that time with your face to face interaction. Make appropriate changes. When tracking the amount of personal interaction I have per day, I was shocked and disappointed in myself.
Simple steps can help in big ways; turn off the phone when you’re with friends, don’t leave Facebook as your internet homepage, stop Tweeting stupid things. Change will come quickly and the benefits will be instantly recognizable.
I wish for this not to be a lecture, but a warning. Do not let yourself trade relationships with people for relationships with forms of media. Relationships founded on social media will be shallow. It is inevitable. Personal interaction, time spent in another’s company––that is how a lasting relationship is born.
