What should you do if a good friend of yours is dating someone you don’t like? You need to ask yourself the simple question of why don’t you like them and then consider your options to confront your friend about it.
It may be a personality clash they have with you but not necessarily with your friend. For example, if they always have to be right, you might find this annoying but your friend might see it as them being knowledgeable.
If it’s something like that, the problem might be that you two are too similar. Perhaps it annoys you that they always have to be right when in fact, you also always have to be right too. Knowing that the thing you don’t like about them is a character trait you have as well will make you better able to deal with it.
I had a friend in college who dated a guy I didn’t like because he gave me a bad vibe. I ended up telling her about my vibe and it almost ruined our friendship. If you are ever thinking of telling your friend your qualms, you need to have something better to go off of than a vibe.
If you decide to confront your friend about your feelings, you need to be prepared. Unfortunately, they are more likely to take the side of the person they are dating than a friend. Instead of being confrontational, try asking some questions that might make them think about the person they are seeing.
The only reason to tell a person you don’t like whom they are dating is if you have seen something your friend hasn’t. If you see them cheating on your friend, you have the responsibility as a friend to tell them. Just be warned, they may not believe you. You will need to stay calm and explain the situation fully.
If the person they are dating acts completely different around your friend than they do other people, this might be cause for concern. You should approach it gently and ask your friend something along the lines of, “They flirt with other people when you are not around. Does that bother you?”
While it may seem like lying, not being upfront about your feelings about your friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend will help your friendship. You can try to help your friend see what you see by talking with them. You can be honest without being confrontational. But before you talk to them, you will need to ask yourself if it’s worth the risk of losing that friendship to make your voice be heard. Remember, it’s their relationship, not yours.
The best thing may be to put your differences aside, suck it up, and try to be friends with this person. This will most likely strengthen your existing friendship and you may even find that the person they are dating really isn’t as bad as you might have thought. Just keep an open mind and you will be able to keep a valued friendship.