“We need to talk.” It’s the kiss of death for any relationship. Does knowing it’s coming make being dumped any easier? No, but you can prepare. Over the years, I’ve developed a how-not-to-act-when-being-dumped guide.

First, you shouldn’t get angry. It’s not going to help. Do you picture yourself yelling and then them rethinking everything and saying, “you’re right, I do want to be with you. It just took some raised voices for me to understand”? If anything, it just reiterates the fact that you are not the one for them.

Also, when you know it’s coming, don’t walk up looking like a sad puppy dog, it won’t help. It may make them feel bad for you, but they are still going to dump you.

Don’t try to break up with them first. They’ve already said those four little words. If you try and do it first, they will just know you are a petty person who just wants to be able to say “I broke it off.” Again, it’s reiterating the point on why the break up is a good idea.

Never tell them how many other girls or guys want you. If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t care that you are being dumped; now you have the freedom to see whomever you want.

Along the same lines, a break-up is not the time to list all of their relationship faults. If all of these things were really bothering you, you should have told the other person about them before they were dumping you.

Don’t try to get the last word. After a very tough break-up, I had a guy say to me, “if you change your mind, call me, but don’t wait too long.” I didn’t even know what to say to that, but I think you can determine if I called or not.

Don’t call them a month later just to chitchat and happen to mention how you have a new girlfriend or boyfriend or how rich you suddenly got. It’s not going to help and they will know you are just trying to make them regret their decision to dump you.

Social media has its uses, but not when it comes to a break-up. Don’t use Facebook to get back at them. Don’t de-friend them. It just looks sad and most likely they won’t even notice. Don’t immediately post pictures of you and another girl or guy to make them jealous. Again, they probably won’t notice and won’t care. Definitely don’t force them to block you because you won’t stop writing on their wall.

Lastly, please don’t cry. At least not in front of them. Hold it together for a few more minutes, then they will leave and then you can cry your eyes out.

Don’t think I’m being insensitive or that I’ve never been dumped and have never cried over it, because believe me, I have. A break-up is hard on everyone, but I’m trying to make it a little bit easier for both people involved.