Let’s talk about sex, baby. Is it all right if we call you baby?
Sorry, did asking you that ruin the mood? No? We should keep going? OK, as long as you’re comfortable.
Discussions of sex in the United States are often mired in a muddle of confusion, misconception, stigma and discomfort.
In our entertainment, we’re more OK with portrayals of violence than those concerning physical intimacy, and often in depictions of sex, we’re more accepting if violence is incorporated into the scenario. In “Game of Thrones,” the number of rape scenes is comparable to the number of consensual sex scenes. In our daily lives, we find it inappropriate to talk about sex in public in nearly any form. In our general education, we insist that children shouldn’t learn about sexuality, for fear that they might evolve into sexual deviants — which can indicate a number of mistaken beliefs we continue to hold onto despite a visible front of social progression.
But, it shouldn’t be weird to talk about sex. People having sex shouldn’t have to feel shame concerning whatever they might be up to. People not having sex should be allowed to be secure in their choices or their respective orientation. People having sex who might not be heterosexual, heteronormative, vanilla or traditionally defined in any way should not have to run to obscure internet forums to express themselves.
We should be able to talk about this. Because if we can’t adequately communicate with one another about these experiences, how can we properly understand the expectations that we all have to confront in some way? How can we expect to grasp the nuances of sex in a relationship when we can’t pin down what consent is in the first place?
That’s something we should focus on going forward: establishing a foundation that not only promotes safety in sexual situations, but lifts the stigma from precautionary measures. Interrupting a hot make-out session to ask if it’s OK to continue is often seen as “mood-ruining” and distinctly unsexy.
But, for partners in such situations, consent should be sexy. Communication should be sexy. Mutual enjoyment should be sexy.
In the following sexy issue, we aimed to cover sex with a sense of both fun and seriousness. As students at NC State ourselves, we think it’s important that we are each knowledgeable of the resources the university offers, that we more thoroughly explore the essential nature of understanding consent and that we reevaluate the way we treat sex in American society.
- Print edition
- Playlist: ‘Let’s talk about sex’
- Amazon’s top 10 best-selling sex toys for online shoppers
- Sexual com class to host ‘kinky science fair’
- NCSU provides resources to promote sexual health
- GLBT Center offers safe space, counseling for all
- Greek Life works to prevent sexual assault through education
- Professor Crane-Seeber talks male feminism, rape culture
- Professor teaches Women and Men in society without using ‘he’ and ‘she’
Opinion columns:
