Opinion Graphic
One of the greatest people I have ever had the pleasure to know is my best friend, Taylor Nicole Tanner, whom I refer to as Tanner for short. Our friendship sprouted our junior year of high school and, four years later, it continues to grow. Tanner identifies as gay, and I identify as straight. No big deal, right? It’s not an issue for either one of us. However, it is for anyone that knows of our friendship.
We get asked on a weekly, if not daily basis, if we’re an “item.” We have been asked this question by everyone who plays a part in our lives: parents, mutual friends, love interests and even the random passersby. The answer always remains the same, “No, she’s my best friend.”
At first, it was really funny to both of us. However, now it just feels like an overused joke. Funny at first, still humorous after a couple of uses, then eventually it just makes you groan. The one thing that is more annoying than being asked hundreds of times if you’re dating your best friend is, “Well, why aren’t you dating?”
The obvious answer to this question is that our sexualities are completely different. Secondly, she’s my best friend. Third, it would be like dating one of your siblings. However, many people aren’t satisfied with those three legitimate reasons, so we have started coming up with responses such as, “She is too tall/short for me,” or “She is too much of a ‘player’ for me,” which is somehow more acceptable than, “Oh, I am straight, and she is gay.”
This is a frequent occurrence that is extremely annoying for me, but even more so for Tanner. This is something that I have dealt with for a few years now, but it is something that she has dealt with ever since coming out.
Tanner was extremely young — only 12 years old — when she first came out. Being from a rural area where the majority of people had never even heard of homosexuality as a possibility, this was a major shock for those who knew Tanner. Rumors spread throughout her school that if she was your friend, it was because she had a crush on you. The rumors spread so far that there were accusations that she was watching other girls change in the locker room. Of course, this was traumatic for Tanner. She had already made such a huge revelation that was unheard of in her hometown at such a young age, and, to top it off, she was subjected to relentless bullying.
Eventually, after the taunting became unbearable, Tanner switched middle schools. Tanner, along with many others in the LGBT community, should never have to face something so traumatic. However, it is something that she still continues to deal with on a daily basis. Because she is a woman and is attracted to other women, people assume that she is attracted to all women.
Many men who identify as gay face similar problems when it comes to social situations. From not being allowed to participate in sports, the military or even be around children, this discrimination is stemmed from the idea that gay men are attracted to all those of the same sex, even children. Not only is this an awkward and almost painful occurrence for many social situations, it can also cause issues in a professional environment. This idea can cause potential employers to refuse to hire an individual because of their sexuality, even though that should be against the law. According to The Salon, 29 states allow employers to fire someone or refuse to hire them based on sexuality.
Many people in the LGBT community find themselves in this same predicament. People face several challenges once revealing their sexuality, one being the preconceived notion that if a person identifies as gay then that person must be attracted to all others of the same sex. However, this same assumption is never made for those that identify as straight. If it seems irrational for a straight person to be attracted to every single person of the opposite sex, why does it seem rational for a gay person to be attracted to everyone of the same sex? Not only is it rude and presumptuous, it places unnecessary stress on one’s shoulders. It can also lead to missing out on knowing a really amazing person, such as Tanner.