Disclaimer: Technishit is purely satirical, don’t take it too seriously.

While NC State’s STEM departments have soared to international recognition, the College of Humanities and Social Sciences, or CHASS, has fallen sorely behind. And it’s really obvious.

However, with their expertise in social behavior, members of the CHASS faculty have finally identified the problem that has been holding them back all along. 

“All they have is good marketing,” said John Joseph Jillibrand, dean of public relations for the CHASS’s Public Relations Department. “‘Think and Do’ is rock solid. It hits you right in the pants and makes you think, ‘why am I thinking when I could be doing?’”

Recognizing this, CHASS has launched a new campaign called “THINK THEREFORE DO” to help the college compete in the area that you would think they have an advantage: public relations.

“Everyone knows that engineers think and subsequently do things, but we had to really ask ourselves: what do CHASS majors ‘do’?” Jillibrand said. “And then I had a revelation: All we do is think.”

Cayden Masterson, a junior studying romance, said that he had long felt like he went to the wrong school until he realized the true value of his thinking.

“All this time I was struggling to make my thoughts matter, but thanks to Dean Jillibrand’s genius, I finally realized that my thoughts are the most important thing,” Masterson said. “It’s a relief to know that I don’t have to do anything but still do things. Think therefore do.”