It’s cold, it’s fairly late and it’s dark. I’m just trying to get to a required lecture film about Buddhism, and if I had my way, I wouldn’t be going at all. I don’t like walking alone as it is, but there are enough people on campus that I feel safe walking briskly across campus to Broughton Hall. I could walk a longer route and arrive late, but I choose to walk through the florescent Free Expression Tunnel because I have every right to do so. I feel better when I see on the other end a large group of people, as there is safety in numbers. 

To you who crossed the divide of the Free Expression Tunnel and came far too close to me and put your arms out like you wanted to hug me—I may have smiled at first and said “no thank you,” but I was angry. As a five-foot-three female, when I walk alone at night, with every step I take, I’m constantly thinking about my surroundings and how to stay safe. 

It’s an unfair reality. When you didn’t take my “no thank you” as a no, and your body brushed against mine and caused me to take a step back because I couldn’t see around you, I was terrified. When personal space is violated, it immediately feels as if there is no one else around for miles. 

It was worse because your group of friends was laughing while the blood pounded in my ears. You stepped back and I pushed through you and said “eff off” because now I have adrenaline coursing, and I just want to be as far away from you as possible. I’m rushing out of the tunnel, tripping over my own boots as people are entering ahead of me and have no clue as to what just happened. As I turned out of the tunnel your friends asked what I said, and you said—“she said ‘eff off.’”  Apparently it was funny to you. 

Every single time someone intrudes on personal space, it’s a violation of a person’s right to safety and comfort. The whole encounter lastedless than 20 seconds. I doubt you who went out of your way to make me feel unsafe even remember the event. It may not seem like a big deal in retrospect, but any person who has felt a moment’s terror at being approached in a way they don’t want to be understands how awful these types of situations can be. 

I don’t like being fatalistic, but as I walked out of the tunnel and tried to slow my heart rate, I couldn’t help but imagine how the scenario could have ended differently.

So, guy who tried to ‘hug’ me in the free expression tunnel, understand this: Approaching people you don’t know with the body posture of someone in a position of dominance and the intent to seem superior is wrong in every situation. No exceptions.