Letting go of friendships is a common challenge of college that I am sure we’re all familiar with. Oftentimes, these connections aren’t the first thing we think of when we consider our own personal well-being. Who we identify as our true friends, especially in this transformational period of our lives, plays an essential role in our growth and development as human beings.
These relationships can provide us with purpose, support, encouragement and emotional bondage. However, they also have the power to serve us in negative ways and limit us from becoming the people we want to be. Choosing your friends wisely is incredibly crucial for those who value the feeling of belonging and authentic connection.
It is completely normal to feel guilt and remorse after deciding to walk away from a friendship. We feel as though we have failed someone, or even that we have failed ourselves. I implore you to let go of that guilt if eliminating a relationship from your life is what is best for you. In fact, it takes courage to step away from someone, or even a group of people you used to consider your network of support. Reassessing your friendships is an act of self-awareness. Furthermore, it demonstrates an act of self-love.
People change, and you change. Let’s normalize the fact that as we mature, we require different support systems that add value to our lives instead of taking it away.
You won’t remember your life by the number of friends you had, but by the meaningfulness within those friendships. In other words, it’s quality that matters, not quantity. I have always held this idea close to my heart, and it has been especially true in my life since coming to college. As an out-of-state student, saying goodbye to high school friends was a challenge, but it also allowed me to remove friendships that were not providing me with genuine joy. The people that have stuck by my side, despite the miles between us, mean the absolute world to me.
Likewise, my friends in college have evolved tremendously since freshman year. I found that closing the door on relationships that did not benefit my well-being only opened more to people that I will forever cherish. While I was terrified of disappointment and backlash, I had no idea how much relief I would feel after performing that act of self-love. You are allowed to grieve the loss of a friendship, but once you offer yourself a bit of grace, you will soon understand that this is much, much better for you.
Psychology Today states that, “Friendship is a partnership. Two people come together on equal terms. They give their all. Friendship demands more than love. It expects and endures the good, the bad, and the ugly. A best friend is someone who brings out the best in you.” I am by no means an expert, but if that friend isn’t allowing you to be the truest version of yourself, then maybe you need to reconsider whether they are worth keeping around.
The beautiful thing is that, as college students, we have so much life ahead of us. Many of us probably haven’t even met who our very best friends in this world will be. For now, just know that you are worthy. You are worthy, loved and completely and utterly deserving of a support system that cheers hard and loud when you succeed, one that lifts you when you fall.
Be there for each other and stay true to yourself when picking your pack.
