My daily commute consists of a walk down Hillsborough Street. It’s the connecting point to my classes, the library, my apartment and coffee. I walk a stretch of this street at least four times a day.
I am sexually harassed while walking this street on a daily basis.
It happens at any time of day, but it most commonly starts after 7 p.m., after the sun has set and clumps of students have receded into their favorite restaurants and study spots. With a 15-pound backpack on my shoulders and the sign of a full day’s work on my face, a stranger on the sidewalk will look at me and call me “sweet thing,” “baby” or “pretty girl.” My face, of course, is the last thing they look at.
I try not to take it personally. Initially, I am angry and bitter to hear someone talk to me with such insolence, to hear such slanderous words slur out of others’ mouths and direct themselves at my body. But ultimately, I know their words are less about attacking and cheapening me than they are a representation of a larger system that has created a demeaning and demoralizing atmosphere for women.
With this in mind, my anger is soon replaced with pity. I pity them. These people who rasp and squawk with such self-assurance have been conditioned to think negatively about the value of women’s lives. These people have been cheated out of an educated perspective about life that treats everyone fairly and values everyone’s lives equally, including theirs.
However, granting someone the benefit of the doubt and assuming someone simply “doesn’t know any better” does not excuse their actions. I will forgive each and every person who speaks to me with such disrespect, but I will not excuse their actions. The words these people spout are ignorant, vulgar and are cut with a tone that has been deemed offensive since the 16th century.
What is most alarming is that we can allow this behavior to perpetuate on a college campus. NC State is a research university that remains at the forefront of innovation, a characteristic that can only be nurtured among a welcoming, safe and creative campus environment. But right now what I am learning about in classrooms, about valuing disparate perspectives, about promoting empathy and understanding, does not always exist outside NC State room walls.
It is hard for me to apply what I am learning in class to the real world when that real world prompts me to worry about my safety first on a block of Hillsborough Street where a man just told me, “You should smile more, you’re prettier when you smile.”
I deserve an education free from fear and harassment. We all deserve an education where the freedom of free speech and challenged-thought extends beyond the classroom and aren’t cut down by violent ignorance.
Eleanor Roosevelt tells us, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I agree with Roosevelt (as any Leslie-Knope-aspiring woman will), but I also believe that no one can learn in an environment among the presence of fear.
In the meantime, I will put Roosevelt’s reminder into action. These strangers’ words will motivate me, not suppress me. Their words are a reminder of the work we have left to do.