It’s the middle of October, and this “Indian summer” has pissed me off. Expecting cooler temps, I bought a fabulous wool — jacket 50 percent off! — and planned to wear it this week. Well, you see how that worked out.
In the spirit of frustration, and an attempt at reverse psychology in the name of cooler temperatures, here are some things I hate about winter, and you should too.
I hate flu shots.
Please, someone tell me why healthy college students need flu shots.
Unless you’re old or have some other horrible malady, flu shots are worthless. But they’re here, on campus, anyway.
Blue Cross and Blue Shield is giving away free flu shots to policyholders. Does that mean, that in this day and age of self-diagnosis and self-medication via the Internet and street drugs, people still drag their sick, snotty, vomiting rear-ends into urgent care clinics and waste enough insurance money on lymph node checks that Blue Cross Blue Shield has decided to shell out free shots?
The Student Health Web site has a whole page dedicated to information about influenza, but nothing on the page tells me why I need a shot.
I implore you — don’t get a stupid flu vaccine. It only works for one year, it can make you sick when you get it anyway and it might not work anyway.
Be a man, woman — whatever, get the flu, and stay at home on the couch where you belong. That’s what winter’s all about, right?
There’s also the combination of cold weather, heavy coats and mile-long walks to class.
I like cold weather, coats and even that extended walk to class sometimes, but when you mix the three together it’s bad.
Imagine: You wake up and it’s 35 degrees outside. It’s cold! You need a coat and a scarf and boots and three layers underneath it all. So you start walking to class. By the time you get there, you have sweat running all down your back and neck and in between your toes. It’s gross and won’t go away quickly, since the classroom you just stepped into is overheated.
At least no one can see how disgusting you are under all those layers, since there’s no place in any classroom to put them if you take them off.
And finally, I hate the weather — sometimes.
It’s not the cold temperature that gets me. It’s the precipitation.
Living in North Carolina means that it pretty much never snows, even though the Weather Channel hypes it up as if it will a few times each year. Usually it rains.
I like rain when it’s warm out and I’m inside.
But cold rain is miserable. It’s cold, for one, and it creates lots of cold mud and cold puddles, which you step in by accident while wearing your brand new suede boots.
On top of that, you have to carry an umbrella, meaning your hand is not snuggly stuffed in your nice warm pocket. It’s tough to survive out there with wet feet, cold hands and limp, lifeless winter-rain hair.
Although I hate snow, it sure is better than rain, since snow in mid-North Carolina is so rare and over-hyped that when a few flakes fall roads, school and workplaces close!
Even though these three things may seem annoying and unnecessary, they’re facts of winter we will have to get used to. Personally, I’m hoping to come down with the flu during the biggest rainstorm of the season so I don’t have to sweat my way to class for a few days.
E-mail Taylor your complaints about the weather to [email protected].
