Depression, attention deficit disorder, a lack of supervision, inexperience and a conspiracy of bullies on MySpace caused 13-year-old Megan Meier to hang herself. Two of Megan’s friends and one of those friends’ mothers used a fake MySpace account to befriend and earn Megan’s trust. They then used that trust to bully her, and an argument between Meier and her mother over the site caused her to topple over the brink of instability started by the hurtful messages she was receiving from the MySpace account.
As older Internet users, it is expected that we know better than to let our online lives interfere with our real lives. But, perhaps unwittingly, the Internet does change the way we behave and the amount of privacy we have in our lives.
There are many things that went wrong in Meier’s situation. It has demonstrated the way the web has permeated our lifestyle. Things that are never acceptable in real life — like giving personal details to strangers — are, for some reason, allowed and encouraged on the Internet. The entire concept of “online social networking” is modeled after real-life social networking. We are seduced by the Internet’s anonymity and thus behave much more cruelly than we would in real life. The odd result is that we continue to forge relationships and trusts on the Internet despite the people being less trustworthy.
An extra thirty minutes spent browsing Facebook takes time away from participating in real-life activities, like nightly four-hour summer school homework. Merely having a Facebook account– complete with pictures, email addresses, phone numbers, residence addresses and interests — is the equivalent of posting a full-page personal ad with drunk pictures of oneself barely dressed. Why do we do this? How are we any safer than young folks who don’t know any better?
“Cyberbullying” can be difficult to prevent. Everyone has to face bullies in real life, but there are some extremes that cross the boundaries of legality. Those boundaries are blurred when such harassment takes place on the Internet. Clearly, people say things on the Internet that would never be acceptable — or legal — in real life. Suggestions of violence or suicide, for example, are taken more seriously In Real Life (IRL!) than when posted on an Internet forum. We are able to say outlandish things online that we could never discuss in person. We can pursue a passion for, say, exotic pinatas, without being ridiculed by people in real life. This is a good thing. Any form of censorship would stifle such open communication and the ability to pursue our personal interests. But can we say that it is okay for a grown adult to harass a minor child? Not in real life. But for some reason, we can online because these issues are litigated more slowly when they pertain to the Internet.
We need to wake up a bit and realize that plastering the Internet with our personal information is not smart. Individual cases should be decided on an individual basis, but when it comes to personal interactions between adults and minors, there should be stringent and enforced rules on what is acceptable to say and do. Suggestible children should not have to deal with the wiles of manipulative adults, and therefore such harassment should be fully litigated.
E-mail Jay at [email protected]