As April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, this letter is timely. Sexual assault and rape on college campuses are the dirty little secrets nobody wants to talk about. The Duke lacrosse rape allegation has brought sexual violence, which is usually swept under the rug, to the national stage.
I want to express my support and solidarity for the victim who bravely came forward and accused members of the Duke lacrosse team of rape and sexual assault. DNA tests excluded all 46 members of the lacrosse team, which some say speaks to their innocence of the crime. Although the DNA tests excluded members of the lacrosse team, there is still evidence that supports the survivor was sexually assaulted or raped. A licensed nurse, who has been trained specifically to collect evidence from rape and sexual assault victims, called for a Rape Examination Kit. It was conducted and both the nurse and a doctor concluded that her injuries were consistent for someone who was raped or sexually assaulted. The survivor reported to District Attorney Mike Nifong for the first time last week who her attackers were, which will be important if the case goes to trial. Nifong still surmises that a crime has taken place and says the investigation will continue. At this point, supporters and advocates on both sides of the aisle need to wait until a full and complete investigation is done.
The victim-blaming that usually takes place involving sexual violence cases usually focuses on the actions of what the victim should have done to not put herself in that situation, instead of focusing on the real issue, which is the criminal actions of perpetrators of sexual violence. The desecration of the body of this young lady and her worth as a woman deserve more than blaming the victim. Victim-blaming only skirts the issue and discredits the victim as well as discouraging future victims from coming forward and bravely reporting their victimization. The sexual objectification of this young lady for entertainment speaks to the broader issue of sexism in our society. If you ask most men if they would have a problem with other men sexually objectifying someone they love, such as a mother, sister or girlfriend, that would be inappropriate behavior. But if they do it to somebody else, it’s OK because they don’t know that other person. To remain silent when our friends sexually objectify women and degrade them without speaking up is to support and perpetuate a culture of rape.
When we decide to remain silent and not challenge other men, we actively participate in the rape culture. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, as long as men continue to view sexual violence as women’s issues, sexual violence will continue. To simplistically view sexual violence as a women’s issue speaks to the invisible unchecked and unchallenged male privilege that suggest a woman’s worth is defined by her body and nothing more.
The unbecoming and boorish behavior categorized by Duke officials at this party is a perfect example of male bonding run amok by way of objectifying women as sexual objects all in the name of having a little fun.
This phenomenon of male bonding is not a new concept in the violence-prevention field. Men need to address the way in which they form bonds with each other that will lead to a more enriching connection with other males that will only enhance our friendships, understanding and relationships with women. Most men typically form bonds around things, i.e. sports, cars, drinking and women, instead of a richer closeness that women typically form, such as bonds with other women based on a deeper, emotional and intimate level. Men typically don’t form these bonds as women do because to do so means that you’re not a man or you’re a wimp. This attitude only fosters and promotes a restrictive gender role in which men must adhere to the image of being a real man. When are men finally going to wake up and realize that sexual violence will end when men decide to end it?
Men need not wait until we have daughters of our own to then take sexual violence seriously, because now we pray and hope it doesn’t happen to them. For men to effectively address the root causes of sexual violence, we must accept our role and responsibility for behavior that is demeaning towards women without making excuses. Men need to speak out, challenge other men’s sexist behavior, talk to women about their experiences, and learn more about sexism and how it operates invisibly in our lives.
I encourage members of the NCSU community to join me April 26 at 7 p.m. at the Bragraw Bar to openly and honestly discuss the issues of sexual assault and rape on college campuses and what we can do to end sexual violence not only against women but men as well.
