Now that school’s over, I am no longer so annoyed with the world. And one result of not being annoyed with everything and hating life is that I am capable of saying “Thank you” and meaning it. So in this column I’d like to do just that and express my appreciation for a few very special people. The following people played vital roles in making this campus an entertaining, enjoyable learning environment in 2005-06.

First, I’d like to thank Whil Piavis. His Pirate Captain campaign was a very amusing novelty that we will be discussing when we are old gray geezers who require adult diapers and cannot stand up without assistance. People say Whil didn’t do anything for the Student Body, but he gave us something interesting to talk about, which is more than I can say for Will Quick or Will Langley. So thanks, Whil, for reminding us that Student Government is exactly what you revealed it to be: a big joke.

The second person I’d like to thank is Praveen Sriram. This extremely devoted individual wrote 2006 Campus Forum responses every single day, and quite often the whole Forum consisted entirely of letters from him. Our Viewpoint editors were often at a loss to print responses to the lame, rambling, unintelligent columns published by yours truly and company, but Praveen never cared what we wrote; he always found some way to disagree with it. If you ran one column entitled “The Holocaust was Bad” and another called “Kindness is a Good Thing,” Praveen would find some way to disagree with both these columns. So thanks, Praveen, for caring so much about the Viewpoint page, and thus compensating for the fact that no one else gives two right testicles about it.The third person I’d like to thank is…well, I don’t know her name, but she slapped me in February. I thank her because I’d never been slapped before and it was a nice experience. We were conversing in the Player’s Retreat (this was the only time I’ve gotten drunk in 2006), and I made a complimentary observation regarding her anatomy and she slapped me. So thanks, babe, whoever you are; I’ve been slapped by a hot girl and now I can die happy.

Next, I’d like to thank A.J. Klingenmaier, a good editorial cartoonist who has generously agreed to step forward and take over Viewpoint Editor duties for next year. It is solely because of A.J.’s commitment and dedication that you will be reading this page for the next 12 months. So, if you like the Viewpoint section, give A.J.’s hand a vigorous shake the next time you see him; and if you don’t like Viewpoint, well, you can e-mail A.J. (or myself) at [email protected] next thanks go out to Johnathan the Brickyard preacher. Perhaps you knew this guy: he’s tall, rather young and has a beard. Quite often he was yelling out Bible verses at the top of his lungs. I’d just like to say that John, whom I am proud to call my friend, was exactly what a campus preacher should be. He did not attack students, as Gary does, consigning them to hell and lamenting the morally execrable lifestyles of American youth. No, Johnathan was all about Jesus and salvation. So thanks, Johnathan, for giving us on-campus preaching the way it should be: heavy on the love and forgiveness and light on the brimstone and hippie hating. Next, I’d like to thank Mark Zuckerberg, who invented Facebook, and thus vastly improved the stalking capabilities of so many N.C. State males. Thanks to Mark, you can look up any girl you like, read her interests, see many photos of her, send her intimate private messages which she does not in any way wish to receive and even poke her! Thanks to Facebook, stalking has never been easier. Thanks a lot, Mark! Almost finally, thanks to everyone who enjoyed my columns, and, particularly, everyone who wrote in to express their approval. I get a lot of hate mail, but not a lot of positive feedback, and your letters meant more than I can say. And if, in my columns, I’ve made anyone laugh, or given anyone a new perspective on life, or brightened anyone’s day, well, no need to thank me for that, because the mere fact that I’ve done it is thanks enough for me.

And finally, thanks to my friends. There aren’t many of you, but you know who you are. You make life bearable. Have a great summer, everyone, and I’ll see you in the fall.

Thank Jeff at [email protected].