With public self-flagellation apparently both less controversial and in higher demand than a column on anything serious, I’m continuing with my New Year’s resolution of confessing my mistakes. This time we’ll take a look at everyone’s favorite organization: Student Government.

The Student Senate

After a particularly raucous meeting last semester, I blasted the Student Senate as a prodigious waste of student fees without highlighting any of the faces behind the mischief. That blanket assault was unfair to serious student activists like Forrest Hinton, who, despite an inapt statement or two this year, may very well be the most talented Senate president this University has had in nearly a decade.

But beyond ignoring the “good guys,” attacking the Senate as a faceless body also meant I didn’t single out people that deserved singling out. Take Senators Brian Godfrey and James Kling, the former representing the Graduate School and the latter serving CHASS juniors. Both seem like perfectly nice guys who I’ve talked with on several occasions, and I’m sure both do an otherwise fine job representing their constituents.

So I kept an open mind when Godfrey and Kling led the charge against the Senatorial Accountability Act. The SAA was a minor bill that would have imposed on Senators the lightest of possible job requirements: Filing a short report once a month on what they actually do for the student body. Godfrey insisted, “I do my job,” and shouldn’t have to write a report, too. And Kling’s argument — that he simply didn’t have time — was curious considering he ran for Senate in the first place and then sought to be elected its legislative secretary. But at any rate, the legislation was roundly defeated by a vote of 14-23 and the Senate tried to continue with the next bill on its agenda.

I had to raise an eyebrow at the irony, then, when both Godfrey and Kling promptly moved to postpone the item’s consideration until the next Senate meeting. Their argument? To quote Godfrey: “I haven’t read it; no one else has read it, and it would be a waste of time to debate it now.” The postponement passed by voice vote, with an overwhelming majority of the Senate affirming Godfrey’s confession that they didn’t in fact do their job.

The Pirate Captain — There’s a lot of TPC love here at Technician, to the point that you’ll never see a negative word about SBP Whil Piavis’ nom de guerre that isn’t first uttered from the mouth of a student senator. Beyond being a likeable guy, let’s be honest: He makes good press. The verbal jousting alone is worth the price of admission to Senate meetings.

Having missed the campaigns last year, I started off in the Pirate Captain’s corner. I didn’t have an issue with his activities on the Board of Trustees because I thought the Student Government had bigger battles to fight. And frankly, I figured anyone with the guts to constantly ridicule a belligerent senator as “Tinker Bell” can’t be all that bad.

But I’ve had to move away from that position, in what was essentially a tacit urging by the Captain himself. At the Senate’s last meeting of the fall semester, CHASS Senator Jessica Collins asked the student body president to name three things he’d done that actually benefited students. Piavis’ response? Dead silence.

He eventually stammered something out, but it was disappointing just the same. If the executive branch’s accomplishments were as vast as hyped, coming up with examples should have been a cakewalk — especially for an organization where even the smallest of actions can be heralded as “accomplishments.”

Don’t lump me in with TPC’s detractors yet, but I’ll definitely be more measured in my opinions of his record.

The Judicial Board — I’ve never really cared about the Judicial Board, mostly because I’ve had an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality toward the people that deal with student misconduct. But after sitting through some computer science courses and seeing the perniciousness of academic dishonesty, there’s no denying the J-Board fills a vital role in this University by safeguarding the value of our degrees. That’s why I hope Vice Chancellor Stafford and the committee he appointed come to recognize Paul Cousins’ wisdom in pushing a split from the Student Government: A body that important merits existing on its own.

That’s it for now, back to “serious” columns next week.