One of the great cliches about college is it is a time for young adults to gain freedom and express themselves however they see fit. Yet, as we all know, many people who love expressing themselves are often harsh to the point of cruelty when critiquing the free expression of their fellow students. While I accept there is a line between what is reasonable self-expression and what is a desperate and annoying plea for attention, it’s not right to forget that everyone is not the same.
In discussing appearance one must make allowances for differences of taste, personality and resources. It’s crazy to think we can ever have one standard of beauty that everyone will uphold and agree on. Everyone knows someone that they think has terrible taste. Whether they are looking at people, cars, furniture or what have you, they seem convinced some seriously unappealing things are extremely attractive.
I have a friend with quite a few piercings, wildly colored hair and a tattoo. One might expect a person like that to be open-minded about how people look and less judgmental than someone who looks more mainstream and conservative. However, this friend was just complaining to me about fat girls wearing clothes that are too small for them and how it looks horrible. While it’s widely accepted that people of any size look better in clothes that fit them well, I was surprised to hear something like that from someone so obviously dedicated to expressing their own personality through their appearance.
There are limits to my benevolence. If you show up for class without brushing your teeth or showering, it’s only fair for you to expect to be treated like the smelly person you are, but within reason. I just don’t like people making rude comments or assumptions because of the way people look.
Just look at that hub of collegiate free expression, facebook.com. N.C. State students have made a lot of very stupid, although usually very funny, groups. However, if you look around, there are an alarming number that focus solely on hating people based on idiotic, superficial criteria. There are more than 150 people in a group against girls who wear boots with short skirts. What does it matter if some girl feels like wearing a skirt with her boots? Does it hurt anyone? Or are these judgmental people just lazy, cruel and looking for excuses to be mean to people who they are too shallow to take the time to get to know?
There are nearly 3,000 people in a group aiming to keep people from popping their collars. That is wholly ridiculous. I have never popped my collar, it’s not my style and it’s not appealing to me. But do I have better things to do than sit around whining about how ugly I think it is? Yes. And do I realize that people who pop their collars have the right to do whatever they want with their collars without negatively affecting anything? Yes.
I know most people who say mean things about how other people look are just joking, or they aren’t really judging the person, just the style. However, if we want to make our collective college experience as good as it can possibly be, shouldn’t we put the immature, superficial middle-school nonsense behind us and stop complaining about what people are wearing?
I don’t really care if people like what I wear and I don’t choose my friends based on what they wear. People who are less open-minded miss out on a lot of great opportunities and I feel bad for them. Then again, maybe it’s a good thing some people are so shallow. This way their delicate sensibilities are so shocked by the horrors of what they see around them that they don’t bother us decent people with their ludicrous presence.
We’ve all said things about other people. We’ve all made fun of someone for how they look. I don’t think that I’m better than anyone and I haven’t forgotten times when I’ve judged people and been proven wrong. I just think this would be a better campus if we were less worried about proving how much we hate whatever it is the cool kids decided to hate this week and spent more time getting to know a wide range of people.