As I sit down to write my final column for Technician and reflect upon my 16 months of writing, I feel like a dying old man reflecting upon his life. Now as I near my literary death, I can’t help but wonder whether Technician is a better paper from having me write for it. Did anyone change an opinion because of me? Did anyone laugh out loud at my jokes? Did anyone even read my columns?

Feel free to write in any thoughts you have on any of my columns or my writing. But I believe that my columns have served some greater purpose — if not to make you think of something that you might not have thought of otherwise, then at least to make you chuckle.

Basically, my writing is like the Bible. Not because it is inspired by God, but because it can be taken many different ways — both literally and figuratively, and people take different things away from it and interpret it differently.

Take, for example, my column entitled, “Society of Sex,” where I brought up the idea that our country is obsessed with sex and that maybe it is holding us back from achieving greater things. Some people (Cough … Emily Westmoreland … cough) took my words a little too seriously, believing that I want everyone to be celibate and do nothing but read books all day. I assure you that that is not my vision for mankind. I love sex.

Lesson to be learned — don’t focus on the little things or you might miss out on a greater message.

Most of my columns have been on the subject of personal finance and initially, that was all I wrote about. In a nutshell, my financial philosophy is to reduce your unnecessary spending and instead save your money now while you are young and can take advantage of compound interest. Every dollar you save now will grow to around $45 in 40 years (10% rate of return). Take advantage of the Roth IRA and your 401k immediately after graduating and you will be thankful you did 20 years down the road. And most importantly, take all my financial advice now while it’s free; in 20 years you’ll be paying someone (hopefully me) for it.

Other lessons to be learned from my columns …

One of the worst things you can do with your money is to play the lottery. The N.C. lottery only returns half of the total revenue in prizes, so in the long run, that means for every dollar you play with you will only receive 50 cents in return. You’re better off taking it to Vegas where at least you get free drinks.

My most recent article discussed the recent tuition and fees increase and how these increases are not always a bad thing. It takes money to improve a university and that money has to come from somewhere. Most of the best colleges in the country are also the most expensive — Ivy League, Duke, etc.

Everyone knows that soccer is the most boring, un-watchable sport on the planet. In fact, I put it in the realm of sports entertainment along with professional wrestling. However, the World Cup may be the most exciting sporting event in the world, not because of the soccer, but because of all drama and fanfare that surrounds the games. Look for me in South Africa in 2010.

Other random lessons from columns …

Be careful what you do with mice, you’ll feel really bad if you accidentally cripple one and have to pull a Kevorkian.

If you are ever in charge of bringing cake to a party, make sure everyone gets a piece.

Seinfeld is the greatest show of all time, even if Michael Richards is a racist.

No one can deny that the Dell Guy is one of the best advertising promotions in the history of civilization.

Thanks to everyone who cared enough about my columns to write to Viewpoint, whether in praise or criticism. I appreciate your feedback (even you Emily Westmoreland), and it makes us Viewpoint writers feel good just to know that people read our columns, whether you love us or hate us.

And if you’re still interested in hopping on the Barack Obama bandwagon, I think we still have a few open seats left. But hurry, the bus is filling up fast.

E-mail Todd at [email protected].