“He hit me pretty hard. I could still feel it even though he was wearing the padded gloves.”

For those of you who don’t understand this quote, let me explain. It’s not from a movie, it’s not from a book and it’s not from a comedy routine – although it should be, and maybe will be one day. These are the famous words that came out of a boy’s mouth at Disney World after being “punched” by Tigger (Winnie the Pooh’s friend).

While filming an innocent Kodak moment with Tigger, Jerry, Sr. catches what he claims to be an attack on his son on tape. The somewhat suspicious video that coincidently begins just as the fluffy Disney character is pushing away from Jerry Jr. seems too good to be true. If you watch the video closely, it looks almost as if the boy is pulling Tigger backwards, and Tigger is trying to keep from falling by bracing himself with Jerry, Jr.’s unfortunate looking, fragile face. Having just recently returned from a trip to Disney World, I can tell you that the park and the characters are not the problems. Our society has become one where people look for the easy way out of hard work, even if it means being immoral.

Tigger did not punch that kid, and he and his dad need to get a life. It is not Disney’s fault that Tigger’s paw accidentally came into contact with Jerry Jr.’s precious face, and it certainly should not result in legal action against the happiest place on Earth. I blame Stella Liebeck, the moronic woman who sued McDonald’s for serving its coffee too hot after she spilled it on herself while trying to add cream and sugar to it in her car.

Coffee’s hot, and it shouldn’t take a special “Caution! Contents hot!” label to tell you that. If it had been cold, she probably would have sued for paying 49 cents for coffee that wasn’t hot. People like this need to be deported – they will certainly never contribute anything positive to this country. Think back to when you were a child on the playground in elementary school. I bet the play areas were full of cool-looking forts and jungle gyms.

My elementary school had a wooden structure complete with internal ladders and secret rooms to hide from friends, but it also had exposed nails and a somewhat questionable level of safety. As kids, my friends and I could not have cared less about the dangerous aspects because we were smart enough to stay away from the nails. The building has since been torn down, along with the merry-go-round and the metal jungle gyms. They have all been replaced with one small, plastic, pathetic-looking “fun” zone complete with benches in case the kids really want to get crazy.

When did kids suddenly become complete invalids, incapable of thinking for themselves? The answer is 1992, when Liebeck spilled coffee on herself, sued, won and the scum of America took notes. Since 1992, many jobs have been created that center around detecting fraud with good reason. If you do not think fraud detection is necessary, consider this next bit of information. A man sued an airline in 2004 after falling down an escalator following his exit of a plane. The man drank alcohol while on the plane and claimed the airline did not inform him of the effect the alcohol would have on his ability to use an escalator.

He later released a statement that said he did not know the lawsuit had actually been filed. This man needs to put down the bottle as soon as possible. Maybe we should put every judge in a Tigger costume, so spineless worms like these will be too afraid to file lawsuits. The risk that Tigger might punch them with that giant, padded paw may be a greater risk than they are willing to take. One can only hope.

E-mail Meghan your Disney World stories at [email protected].