At 8 years old I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I knew where I wanted to live, who I wanted to marry and what I’d name our children. (I’m scary like that.)

At this point, that has all changed. I have accepted that I will never be a singer (due to lack of talent and drive). I have become nearly apathetic to where I live. I have not heard from that guy in years, and I have suffered the trauma of having Gwyneth Paltrow steal my favorite name. (Apple — yea, I’m scary like that too.)

My point being that, by nature, people seem to plan their lives, and then those plans seem to go horribly awry – as evidenced by how mine all have.

Somehow, having those plans fall through can leave people feeling lost or like failures, even when they are only failing to complete arbitrarily chosen actions within an arbitrarily chosen time frame.

Fulfilling our plans often becomes more important than what those plans really are. Wanting to get a certain internship can become so paramount to some people’s perceptions of what will bring success or happiness that if they should fail, they are often left feeling deeply disappointed.

As natural as that reaction is, it’s counterproductive.

Really it’s those little excursions into the unknown and the uncharted that both prove and form one’s deepest character. When people have no plan to lean on and are forced to adapt, change and explore new possibilities, they are able to grow and stretch the bounds of their own capabilities.

There is a John Lennon quote that I’m sure was in everybody’s yearbook that says, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Normally, I don’t like to sum important things into simple sentences, but in this case I’ll make an exception because someone did it for me. I think that focusing on living the life happening in spite of life plans would help a lot more people feel satisfied and happy.

Now, I know that I can’t convince anyone not to plan their lives. I wouldn’t want to either, since I myself am deeply entrenched in the process of reorganizing all my plans around my current situation and I don’t like hypocrisy.

So, since I accept that planning is a necessary evil the next step is how to combat that evil. Perhaps we could make a conscious effort to recall that all of our feverish planning is really just that, a plan, which we should deviate from as is necessary and desirable. Making allowances for evolution of the master plan is the secret to being content with any random direction life is inclined to take.

It’s easy to regret what we hoped for and didn’t get and to take for granted what we didn’t expect and got. However, I am convinced that things happen for a reason and that any unexpected and even unwanted deviations from our own plans, no matter how unpleasant, are still good. Even if that good only stems from the fact that facing that obstacle helps to cement our good character. I have never met people who haven’t deviated from their original plans, I wouldn’t want to – seems like they’d be pretty boring.

Life can’t be the perfect picture we imagine at 8 years old. There is no point in wishing for the impossible. I truly believe we’d all feel better if we tried to let go of the need to adhere to the plan, let go of the feelings of responsibility and embrace the unknown.

Today, I am neither where I hoped I would be, nor doing what I hoped I would be doing. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope you feel the same, but if you don’t, for any reason, I hope that you would evaluate whether the difference you perceive between your life and your plan is keeping you from being who you want to be or if it is making you who you ought to be.

E-mail Kate your life plan at [email protected].