It’s Christmas time again; that magical time each year when, after cramming, stressing and generally freaking out over exams, we go home, and realize we have no idea what we’re going to do with the free time.
But Hollywood knows your struggle, oh tired college students.
The war for the almighty dollar is waged once more as studios fire big name actors at you from all directions, overload on special effects budgets and, for a change of pace, try to scare the pants off you.
It’s the December to January holiday season!
While this year hasn’t seen an overabundance of really solid quality films, the next month or so has me at least cautiously optimistic, jaded movie reviewer that I am. Having just come from The Kite Runner, I can tell you it’s a fairly faithful adaptation of the book on which it is based, and, if you’re looking for some drama with heavy themes and a couple tear-jerking moments, then this is what you need.
Speaking of drama, the holidays this year see a pretty fair amount of horror films, both psychological and slasher. For one we’ve got Awake, starring Hayden “Anakin Skywalker” Christensen and Jessica Alba, and before we all cringe at the idea of sitting through another Christensen film, gigantic Star Wars geek though I am, I’ve been hearing fairly good things. Awake centers around a man who finds himself conscious during open heart surgery and learns his doctors will be taking his organs and running. Those who are still fearful of Christensen should see his 2003 film Shattered Glass, which proved to me that he can in fact act his way out of any number of paper bags.
Another horror film I’m looking forward to is I Am Legend, which stars Will Smith as seemingly the last man alive in New York City after a deadly virus strikes. He finds he may not be the only left around. Can you say cannibals, children? I knew you could. The only reason I want to see it is because Smith usually takes on films he’s going to be damn good at.
Johnny Depp sings in the murderous musical of man’s madness Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Pardon me while I cringe. But I suppose I’ll give it a chance, anything with Alan Rickman and Helena Bonham Carter ought to be good at least once.
Shortly after Sweeney Todd hits theaters, we all return to a world where no one can hear us scream in Alien Versus Predator: Requiem on Christmas. It really doesn’t matter what I say about this sci-fi bloodbath; if you’re the kind of person who goes to see these movies there’s nothing I can do to stop you.
Finally, my biggest hopeful for the next two months, Cloverfield, arrives Jan. 18. If you haven’t seen either of the trailers, put this newspaper down right now and go to YouTube. It’s okay, I’ll wait.
Cloverfield is an attempt by Lost creator J.J. Abrams to reinvigorate the giant monster movie genre, which has been slowly dying ever since the American Godzilla crossed the streets of New York City. Shot entirely by handheld camera, it follows several friends as they attempt to escape the Big Apple as it’s destroyed by a giant, unseen creature. “Pulse pounding” and “exciting” are clichéd action phrases that aptly describe this movie’s cool factor.
And speaking of exciting, Stallone returns … again … for the last time (maybe) as the gun-toting John Rambo, who pulls himself out of retirement to save some not-too-bright Americans trying to change the war-torn situation in Burma.
This is just a taste of this holiday’s films. Let’s not forget the hilarious country rock star mockumentary Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Nicolas Cage’s world-tripping National Treasure: Book of Secrets, high fantasy tale The Golden Compass and Grace Is Gone, starring John Cusack and the story of a father who goes on a road trip with his two daughters while he tries to find the courage to tell them their mother died in service in Iraq.
Remember, each of these movies is two fewer hours you have to spend cleaning your room.
