Stop the body shots! Cease the beer pong! It’s time for the H1N1 virus to roll around campus, producing paranoia, pains and Purell purchases. On the bright side, it is refreshing to see that my hand sanitizer addiction is finally paying off.
Much printer ink has been spilled about the debate over the hyping of the H1N1 virus. It is not Ebola, but it will inevitably lead to some fatalities, especially in the very young and the old, so you can’t be too careful. Regarding the virus hoopla, there are a couple of bad ideas floating around that need to be addressed.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a frequently asked questions page regarding the H1N1 virus. Shockingly, one of the most asked questions has to do with the subject of “swine flu parties.” What is a “swine flu party?” Well, since you asked, it is a social event where people gather with a person who has been infected with swine flu.
The partygoers hope that they will contract a mild version of the virus to build up immunity to the 2009 strain, so that when it comes around again they can touch as many people and share as many cups as they want. This sounds like the mirror plot of Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death” with probably the same ending.
The “swine flu party” is typical of the moronic ideas that people cook up without doing any research or thinking like “death panels” or tumbleweed farms (they exist, look them up). The CDC reports that while many cases of H1N1 have been mild, there have been a significant number of deaths.
Basically, you have no idea how the virus will affect you or those that you spread it to during your daily routine, so do not try to get it. Do you really want to be responsible for someone else’s death? I hate to put it so alarmingly but the stakes can be that high for certain segments of the population.
For the portion of the student body who plan to continue their regular routine while they are sick, I have a message for you: do not come to class.
Well, it kills less people than the regular flu, right? Yes, but you should still not come to class if you have the regular flu, which will also appear in the coming months. If you have a fever, go to the doctor and stay home, it’s that simple. The CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone.
Do not fear fellow nerds! Professors will work with you if you are sick and will make sure that you catch up. Just remember, they won’t be so agreeable if you come to class and infect them.
In the meantime, while the virus is slowly creeping around campus, we should all wash our hands regularly and avoid contact.
Sorry people, but the free-hug coupons I gave out for Christmas will be void until further notice.
