Many students around campus seem to relish in complaining about how crappy their roommates are. I hear things ranging from “she’s way too messy” to “he’s always having sex while I’m asleep.”
Granted, these things are relevant annoyances. But we spend so much time blaming others that we fail to see the faults within ourselves.
Sometimes, I think we forget that everyone here in the college environment is scared. It doesn’t matter if you are freshman or a senior. It varies from male to female and culture to culture. We all have concerns and worries ranging from next week’s test to an upcoming graduate school interview. Having a shred of compassion for another person can make a big difference in how they react to you.
When we enter the college environment I believe we are looking for the ideal situation. We are so excited about the endless possibilities and all the stories we’ve heard, we create our own clouded realities. The problem with that is that we get hit, hard, by situations we are not prepared for. It’s like getting run into by a freight train. All of a sudden you realize your roommate is totally different from what you thought he or she would be. Maybe they hate country music, have a messy desk, stay out way too late, talk loudly on the phone, have a potty mouth or always eat your food.
How do we resolve these situations? First, take a step back and look at yourself. You will begin to realize that you may take some getting used to as well. Maybe you are a neurotic neat freak, you hog the refrigerator with only your things and you always have people over in the wee hours of the morning. Those habits of yours may be driving your roommate crazy!
Secondly, have the courage to have a heart-to-heart conversation with your roommate(s). It may be scary at first because I do not think the average person wants to be the one to initiate a confrontation. One thing is for sure; talking about something definitely beats hating each other in a passive-aggressive manner. I believe that people do not even recognize that their habits are irritating. Yes, there is such a thing as a person being evil for no reason, but we should take the high road and give people the benefit of the doubt — at least once. They may surprise you!
The world is full of various attitudes and personalities. One of the main goals of college is exposure to that. If you can deal with an annoying roommate you can get along with anyone. Try being friendly and see where things go. Being a roommate involves compromise. When you bend for someone else, they will most likely bend for you. If you simply cannot come to a consensus then throw in the towel and split. There are relationships that are meant to end, but make sure you do everything to avoid missing out on a potential friendship.
