While discussing safe sex with some of my fellow RAs earlier this semester, I mentioned the importance using of dental dams for oral sex. My statement was met with confusion, as all but one of my coworkers had never heard of a dental dam.
I was disturbed by this interaction but not surprised. Schools regularly fail to provide information about dental dams’ use and importance. Dental dams are thin rectangular latex or polyurethane barriers that are placed between the vulva or anus and mouth during oral sex.
My days in sex education were primarily abstinence-oriented, and when we did cover sexual safety it was mostly regarding pregnancy prevention. The heteronormative ideal that sex equals penetration of a vagina by a penis was present in every lesson, and any form of queer sex was never discussed.
My friends’ lack of knowledge regarding dental dams is not their fault — they were just never given appropriate resources to learn about them. NC State could easily address this void through providing dental dams alongside condoms and ensuring students receive information on their use and importance.
It’s common knowledge that penetrative sex can spread STDs. However, what many students still don’t know is that engaging in unprotected oral sex without penetration still poses a risk. By placing a barrier when engaging in oral sex with someone with a vulva, you greatly reduce the risk of contracting illnesses such as chlamydia or gonorrhea.
Not all sex involves penetration or necessitates a condom. This fact is seemingly forgotten by not just the education system, but also many sexual health resources. In order to purchase dental dams, you must browse inclusive sex stores such as Spectrum Boutique, a Detroit-based sex store with a primary focus on queer inclusion and sexuality.
Dental dams are more expensive as well, despite being made of the same material as flavored condoms, which are popularly used for oral sex performed on a penis. This is upsetting to me, especially since you can find flavored condoms at nearly every drugstore at very low prices.
For whatever reason, oral sex on a penis is normalized, yet oral sex on a vulva is not. The presence of dental dams as a crucial part of sexual health would also be a triumph for awareness of sexuality for people with vulvas, which historically has been placed on the backburner. Dental dams reinforce the idea that sex is not only about conception — it can also be about pleasure, which is in no way shameful.
Furthermore, not every student has the means to afford their own condoms, which is why student health provides them in the first place. The same logic should apply to students with vulvas wishing to engage in safer oral sex. All students should have the ability to participate in safer sex without a financial boundary, and NC State can directly address these concerns.
Providing free dental dams would increase understanding of sex in a non-heteronormative context, as well as make oral sex far safer for everyone, straight or queer. Through equipping students with more comprehensive sexual wellness resources, we have the chance to make NC State a more knowledgeable, inclusive and healthier campus.
