Following the Abolish NCSU IFC & Panhellenic movement last semester, I noticed an uptick of male-identifying students who are not affiliated with Greek life at NC State expressing their superiority to Greek men when it comes to feminism. Men outside of Greek life feel they are not sexist and misogynistic because they do not subscribe to an institution (i.e. Greek life) that has historically had problems with misogyny, racism, homophobia, classism and more.
It would be naive not to state that I agree that Greek life around the nation has had a problem, and will continue to without major reform, with institutionalized misogyny, racism, homophobia, classism, ableism, etc. However, just because a man is simply not in Greek life does not make him a gold star ally to women. This mentality is dangerous because these men, the majority being cisgender, think they are absolved of their misogyny by saying Greek life is sexist. In actuality, not being a part of a fraternity at NC State does not remove you from the narrative of the patriarchy.
A parallel argument relating to whiteness is especially important to help describe this phenomenon. When looking at institutionalized racism and how it is perpetuated in our nation, we have to consider the effects of whiteness and its effects as a dominant identity in an unbalanced power dynamic. No matter what your identities are, if you are white, then you are going to be perceived as white first.
Even if you have other minority or non-dominant identities, you are given inherent advantage as a white person. One of the best examples I read was that queerness does not absolve white people of their whiteness and white advantage, which follows the same principle. So, in this context, not being in a frat does not absolve you of your misogyny that is inherent as you function as a man in society.
Being a feminist and an ally to women means fighting both sexism and misogyny. From Kate Manne, author of “Down Girl: The Logic of Misogyny,” misogyny refers to the systemic idea that a “hatred towards women” exists and acts due to the patriarchy, whereas sexism exists as a prejudice, with individual acts of bias on the basis of sex. Some men do not actively think about how policies and legislation affects women, and therefore, are still contributing to misogyny in America.
But what about those men who do? Maybe they are self-labeled “liberal” or “leftist” men that do agree and support pro-equality legislation and social movement; however, these efforts don’t matter if sexism on an individual level isn’t acknowledged. These types of men are often seen sharing progressive infographics on Instagram but then belittle women in private messages using sexist and derogatory language. Just because you’re “woke” doesn’t absolve you of your douchebag ways towards women.
This article isn’t meant for me to be the male savior who saves all women. There are already leaders and movements amongst women that have that covered; women don’t need Zack Jenio. Rather, this article serves as a call for men to know that neither your politics (i.e. liberal/left) or your group affiliations (i.e. not being in Greek life) absolve you of your inherent misogyny and contributions to the patriarchy. If you truly want to be an ally then you need to fight sexism you see every day and the misogyny that exists in the structure of our society.
