To start a long distance relationship or not to start a long distance relationship, that is the question. There are basically two types of long distance relationships, those that start out long distance and those that start out and then become long distance. Here are some helpful hints to surviving an LDR.
Getting into an LDR right from the start of the relationship can cause it to move really fast. When you only see each other every other week, you tend to concentrate everything into those few days of seeing each other. This can lead to a really intense relationship.
You need to be cautious of moving too fast. You could burn out on this person quickly and that’s not a good start to any relationship. Be sure to take it slow and when you hang out, try and make it with a group and not always just the two of you. Invite them out with your friends and go out with their friends when visiting each other.
Trust is something that can be very difficult to build in any relationship but can be especially difficult for those in LDRs. Since you are not able to be with your significant other very often, you have to trust that they are being faithful to you.
Especially with the advent of social media and cell phones, it’s now easier than ever to see what your boyfriend or girlfriend is up to. It can be easy to go on Facebook and see them in a picture with another person and immediately jump to conclusions. If you completely trust this person though, this shouldn’t even be an issue.
On the other hand, sometime you are in a relationship and due to school, work or life, you or your significant other have to move and a the relationship becomes long-distance.
Nicole Ralston, a graduate student in higher education administration, recently graduated from Florida State University, where she met her boyfriend when she was a junior. They dated for two years before Ralston moved to Raleigh, NC, and her boyfriend moved to Atlanta, GA.
Ralston said the biggest challenge has been “not having him here to celebrate with me when I accomplish something or when he does. Also, not having him here, being there for him when he or I need to be cheered up.”
Ralston states that even though it doesn’t compare to being in the same room. texting, calling and Skyping have made it easier for them to feel connected. Just like you would in any long-term relationship, Ralston and her boyfriend make sure to talk on the phone or Skype every evening to catch up on their day and say goodnight.
There are some things that are true in any relationship but can be vital to keeping an LDR alive. As in any relationship, you have to keep things new and fresh. If your boyfriend or girlfriend asks you to come see them this weekend, you could say you can’t and then surprise them by going. Keeping the spontaneity alive in a relationship will help the relationship last.
Unfortunately, an LDR won’t keep you satisfied in a relationship forever so be sure to keep up communication on the possibility of you two being in the same city eventually. If your significant other seems wary of this, you might want to reconsider if they are the one for you.
Just remember to keep up communication, keep things exciting, and to always trust your significant other and your relationship has the potential to withstand the distance.
