I am not a fan of the show “Grey’s Anatomy.” The show’s gone on for about five seasons too long and killed more main characters than a daytime soap opera. But one of the dominant themes in Shonda Rimes’ popular “medical” drama is sex. Attractive people having sex with other attractive people while also doing their actual jobs in between all the sex. I honestly think all those doctors at Seattle Grace went through all that schooling just to jump in bed with their coworkers. But alas, my distaste for the show isn’t the point here.
With me being a male and all, one of the pervading stereotypes is that all guys think about is sex. Sex, all the time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And while my roommates have an uncanny ability to turn anything into a sexual innuendo or euphemism, the stereotype just isn’t true. Well, at least for me it isn’t.
Sex is everywhere, and it’s becoming harder and harder to avoid it. It’s on television, in movies, in music, in books and on the Internet. Over the past 50 years, sex went from a cultural taboo to one of the dominant themes in Western popular culture. It’s even influenced how people approach dating.
Based off themes in television and movies, if two individuals aren’t having sex by the third date, many people would look and say, “Well, what’s the problem?” That’s the thing: There isn’t a problem. This “hookup culture” that’s perpetuated throughout this generation is so entrenched in the minds of teenagers and young adults, it may never go away. Say whatever you want, but hookup cultures only hurt relationships in the long run.
I’ve never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever found the necessity to find one. I’ll find the right girl in time; at least I think I will. But that’s not the point. I am a virgin, and I’m not ashamed to be. I’m still trying to figure out how being a virgin went from a common theme among young adults to a taboo subject. I believe sexual intercourse is the most intimate experience one human being can share with another. Even though virginity is entirely fabricated by society and doesn’t mean a thing in the long run, an individual’s first sexual experience is a pivotal moment in his or her life.
According to a study done by researchers at the University of Tennessee and Mississippi, an individual’s first sexual experience has more of an impact on the rest of their sexual lives than they were first led to believe. The results of the study showed individuals who had a positive first-time sexual experience had higher sexual satisfaction later in life and experienced less “sexual depression.” Feeling loved and respected by one’s partner led to more emotional and physical satisfaction later on in life. On the flip side, when one experienced negativity and anxiety when losing one’s virginity led to an overall lower sexual satisfaction.
You wouldn’t share pivotal moments in your life with complete strangers. So why would you share one that’s arguably one of the most important in your life with someone you don’t know? I want to share that experience with someone I trust and love with all my being. I just don’t understand how an experience that makes someone so sensitive and vulnerable has been relegated to something expected on a first or second date. When did it come to this? Why is it so frowned upon to wait and have sex? What happened to getting to know someone before taking it to the next level?
You could probably find thousands of blog posts on hookup culture and how it’s bad and it needs to stop. But they’re all just rhetoric. It’s one thing to write about it, and it’s another thing to do something about it. When you share an anti-hookup culture posts on social media, it’s going to be just as effective as my aunt’s last 34 requests for me to play Candy Crush Saga: It won’t change many minds.
I’m a firm believer that there’s someone out there from everyone. Whether or not you agree with me is entirely up to you. But as we move forward with the hookup culture we live in, finding that someone may become harder to do so. While the hookup culture isn’t going away anytime soon, you shouldn’t let it dictate every aspect of your romantic life. Because that’s the thing: Your romantic and sexual life is nobody’s but yours.
- Print edition
- Sex: It’s not that weird
- Playlist: ‘Let’s talk about sex’
- Amazon’s top 10 best-selling sex toys for online shoppers
- Sexual com class to host ‘kinky science fair’
- NCSU provides resources to promote sexual health
- GLBT Center offers safe space, counseling for all
- Greek Life works to prevent sexual assault through education
- Professor Crane-Seeber talks male feminism, rape culture
- Professor teaches Women and Men in society without using ‘he’ and ‘she’
Opinion columns:
