“Dad” jokes are played out. No, I don’t mean the always amusing, “Hi, [insert adjective here,] I’m dad,” jokes. I mean the jokes that poke fun at those who no longer, or never had, their fathers in their lives. Not only are the jokes hurtful, they almost always contain underlying, racist connotations.
From a personal standpoint, I find the jokes unfunny simply because of my own personal problems I have with my own father. Consistently, almost predictably, my father has been in and out of my life for 21 years. I never really know if he’s coming or going, or when/if he’s going to actually stay. There have been countless birthday parties for both my younger brother and myself that our father did not attend. Holiday after holiday have slipped by where we didn’t hear from him. He’s not a bad guy whatsoever, it’s just that “family” has never been a priority for him.
It did not really affect me much until I made it to college. It’s painful for me to see other girls my age that have amazing relationships with their fathers. They have fathers that help them move in, go with them to football games, wear “NC State Dad” apparel and make phone calls to them every single day. The relationship I have with my father makes me dread something as meaningful as my wedding day when I have to choose someone to walk me down the aisle and, then, afterward, we celebrate the day with a classic father/daughter dance.
As painful as my situation is for me, I know that I’m lucky that my father is still in my life, even if it is only for short periods of time. Others aren’t as lucky as I am and are even more are subjected to hurtful, racist jokes regarding their fathers, with whom they already have troubled relationships. While the typical “Hi, [adjective,] I’m dad,” jokes may at first seem hilarious in nature, they can be unintentionally racist when used incorrectly.
The harmless dad jokes are usually in reference to white fathers rather than black, Hispanic or, let’s say, Asian fathers. When one thinks of a “black dad” joke, the thought of abandonment comes to mind. When one thinks of a “Hispanic dad” joke, typical, incorrect stereotypes usually associated with those of Mexican descent come to mind. When one thinks of an “Asian dad” joke, not only does the person immediately single out those from East Asia, he or she also pictures an incredibly strict dad obsessed with grades and perfection. Why is it that white fathers are always associated with the harmless, funny jokes and fathers who hail from a different race are deemed as unfit, uncaring and unloving?
Jokes regarding abandonment are not funny whatsoever. It is extremely painful to constantly wonder why a parent felt the need to leave their child. It hurts to always wonder if it was your fault, or if there was something more you could have done. It hurts to always question why you weren’t good enough, even though you had no control over your parent’s decision.
Similarly, racist jokes are also not funny at all. Not only is it insulting to a particular race, it is insulting to those fathers that have always been there for their children and have worked hard to always make sure that their children are assured they are loved and cared for.
This can be prevented by being aware of those around you and being conscious of what you are saying. This does not mean that it is acceptable to make racist dad jokes, or racist jokes in general, when no one is around but, rather, be aware that what is being said could be deemed as racist and hurtful and refrain from it. It is possible to make jokes about one’s heritage and not be racist. You never really know what someone has experienced in his or her life, and you might not have any idea how much someone’s words can hurt.
