Mention chaos and college football in the same sentence, and it’s usually preceded by the words Bowl Championship Series.
Nobody really likes the BCS. It seems to be moving ever closer to a desired playoff system, but it’s still a bumpy ride every season.
The formula deciding the top two teams in college football changes every year. The most recent alteration came forcefully when the Associated Press decided to remove its poll, which counted for one-third of the BCS rankings.
Earlier this week the BCS proposed a panel of former players, coaches, administrators and reporters. The panel will still account for one-third of the final rankings, while the ESPN/USA Today Coaches poll and computer ranks will carry equal weight.
“We joke about it a little bit in terms of, ‘What can go wrong next?’” Western Athletic Conference Commissioner Karl Benson told the Arizona Republic.
It’s true. There’s always a team that gets shafted by the BCS. Not everybody will be pleased with the new system.
The least the BCS can do is make the new panel a little more interesting. The above mentioned occupations clearly have an interest in which teams and which conferences are represented in the national championship game.
Let’s make it a three-member panel with no direct connection to any players or coaches. They could release their rankings every week of the season — a Monday evening telecast on ESPN.
1. Simon Cowell, American Idol judge
Simon may be the most cruel public figure in the United States. But he’s real. There’s no holding back, and that’s what college football needs.
Imagine the criticism that might flow from Simon’s mouth.
S.C. on Mississippi State: You call yourself the Bulldogs? You look more like chihuahuas. You try to bark and all you do is yap, yap, yap.
S.C. on USC: And speaking of yappers, I’m sorry I have to share my initials with these pathetic pansies from Southern California. We heard how you got screwed in 2003 and saw your glory in 2004.
The truth is you look good because you play in a second-rate conference — the PAC-10. It’s easy to get up for one game and beat Oklahoma.
It’s like Britney Spears competing in a kindergarten talent show. That’s probably the only way she would ever win any serious competition, and the same goes for you.
2. Arnold Schwarzenegger, California Governor
Republicans and democrats alike can respect the “governator.” He married Maria Shriver from the heavy democratic Kennedy lineage while holding his own Republican ideals.
Schwarzenegger won’t care about conferences or traditional prestige, which would be good for the BCS. He only has one request.
A.S. on the standings: I’m tired of the whining coming from you little college football players. If you really want to make it to the championship game, I can pump you up. Just get out there and do the work. Don’t be college football girly men.
3. Harry Reid, Minority Leader of the U.S. Senate D-Nev.
It’s always entertaining to throw a wrench into the system. Reid and his fellow democrat senators have done just that — filibustering and blocking votes for some of President Bush’s judicial nominees.
Reid will refuse to release his ballot every week, while reading Michael Moore’s latest column aloud to prolong the process.
H.R. on voting: I refuse to vote up or down on Oklahoma. The Sooners are undefeated and have defeated every opponent by an average of 21 points or more, but I find coach Bob Stoops too entrenched in his beliefs. He should be more open-minded. Stop concentrating on defense and stop running the ball so much. I won’t vote on the Sooner until they balance the offense.
