Our society is one that values outgoing people. Being outgoing makes you more friends. In the classroom, students are expected to talk frequently. At work, one is expected to be social and speak up during meetings with all kinds of ideas. Those outgoing, social people are usually rewarded with promotions. Meanwhile, it’s incredibly easy for people who are shy to be swept under the rug and lost in the crowd. 

It’s hard to say how many people really are shy. Most social people arguably have shy traits. Although they’re talkative, they worry that they’re really embarrassing themselves during their conversations. Few people actually fit the stereotypes of shyness: the ill-at-ease individual who will do anything to get out of social events. 

I am the stereotypical shy girl. It takes a lot of effort for me to go to parties or meetings and even more effort to actually talk once I’m there. In high school, many people thought I was rude because I never talked. I struggled to make a lot of friends. Yet, in reality, I really liked my classmates; I was just fearful that they wouldn’t like me. This is a reality for many shy people. We desperately want to connect with others, but are too anxious about interacting with them. This doesn’t mean that we are unfriendly or unkind, just that we feel panicked. 

In fact, shy people actually make very good friends. Since shy people rarely are very social, it gives us time to listen and to be observant of other people. Shy people are great listeners. Being able to be a good listener is important in any friendship and, according to C. Barr Taylor of Stanford University, this can be a “source of strength” for shy people. Indeed, many of my friends have complimented me on how well I listen and remember things that they’ve told me. 

Quiet, shy people also struggle to gain recognition in the workforce. Shy people are often overlooked in favor of more outgoing individuals. Many believe that shy people just don’t make good leaders, but that’s not always the case. Dr. Lynne Henderson, a psychologist, states that most shy people make exceptional, empowering leaders. Many of history’s biggest role models were noted to be very reserved, shy individuals. Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt and Rosa Parks have all been described by both friends and historians as shy. Yet, those same individuals made amazing historical contributions. 

Shy people can do exceptional things. We can be great friends, great workers and great leaders. Shy people can fit in well — we just need a space to do so. So, all my outgoing Wolfpackers, don’t write off shy people. Instead, respect how hard shy people work toward being social. It’s not an easy task for us, but one that we are trying to accomplish anyway.