They say there’s one born every minute. Suckers, that is. And if you ask me, I think our fine campus is a breeding ground for gullible saps. Or at least that’s how we must seem to advertisers, retailers, and the world at large. Just look anywhere in and around this campus and some store, club or cult is trying to entice you into buying their product or joining their cause. Fill out this survey and get a free pack of chewing gum. Sign this petition to save the rain forests and get a free recycled pencil. Donate to this church and get this free Jesus bobble head. It’s pretty much everywhere.
It’s not just our campus that’s a prime target for such schemes. It’s American society in general. The desire to get something for nothing is practically the American dream. Where else in the world would you be able to find enough people that think just by shooting some animated duck on a web banner, a free PS3 would be on its way to their doorstep? Or that someone’s going to hook me up with a brand new Cadillac if I can correctly identify some famous celebrity’s gall bladder?
Most people would easily spot the obvious gimmick, but there must be enough saps out there to keep groups like this in business. Sure, you’ll get your free iPod, but it will arrive in 12-18 months, missing headphones and with a special edition song capacity of 5 MB. When you load it onto your computer to put songs on it, it will upload a virus that will destroy your computer’s hard drive and make your web browser’s default homepage hamsterdance.com. It will also be orange.
Of course, all you had to do to obtain this imitation iPod is give away all of your personal information such as your credit card number, Social Security number, phone number, every address you’ve ever lived at and your seventh-grade locker combination. But no harm is really done. So what if you’ve sold your soul out to some off-the-wall advertising company? You got a free iPod. It’s the American dream!
Many people could really take advantage of the way some college students seem to be so indiscriminate about who they endorse and what they buy into. If the U.S. Army really wants to recruit tons of young people to go fight its wars, just offer them free iPods and tell them that by enlisting, their name will be entered into a drawing to win a free trip to sunny Fallujah. And there is a good chance your name is gonna be chosen!
Of course, I cannot say I am immune to buying into gimmicks. I once was duped into thinking it was College Student Appreciation Day at Papa John’s, only to find out that to get a free small pizza, I had to give away all my personal information and apply for a credit card. Luckily, my girlfriend and I quickly spotted the scam. Before being roped into the credit card company’s nefarious scheme, we toppled some chairs to create a diversion, then ducked and rolled out of the restaurant into safety.
Some of you may be thinking, “Yes, but that’s ridiculous. Just because you give away some information about yourself doesn’t mean you’re getting scammed.” OK, so you don’t have to actually get a credit card. Sure, you can cancel your application. But what becomes of the information you have so openly given away? The credit card companies should tell you, “Since you gave us all your personal information, we’ll continue spamming your e-mail account and calling your cell phone until you agree to get a card from us. Also, when you signed page G-3 of your application, you agreed to give us your first-born child. So long, and enjoy that free Pez dispenser. You deserve it!”
There is an age-old adage which states, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” This is sound advice for the campus crowd, as we are at a stage where we have wants, money and little common sense. Remember that personal information is just that — personal. As a college student, it is important to realize that you are a part of a highly sought-after demographic, and retailers and advertisers will do just about anything to get your last dollar. Be smart with your money, and be wary of who you give information to. Because, at Papa John’s, there’s no such thing as a free lunch.
