“Read.”

That’s what Tim Allen said on his poster in the elementary school library as he casually perused his copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It’s funny that he should suggest a book on metaphysics to fourth graders, but it was still my favorite of all the posters of celebrities with their shiny smiles and big books. Oh well, at least I took the Tool Man’s advice to heart.

Yes, those were some fertile years of learning; before I got a Nintendo 64 or was able to save up enough money to buy new computer games (there’s only so much shareware Doom on god mode that a sixth-grader can play). Books were good to me; I think constant recreational reading really helped me become a more intelligent person.

Let us fast forward to the present day. As a college student I’ve hardly had time to read recreationally. The shrinking free time I used to put aside for reading has become instead time for beer pong, a few video games, tailgating, watching the same Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode for the umpteenth time: in other words, typical college-student activities. I’m sure many of you can sympathize with this shift in time use; I think that many of my friends also find it difficult to set aside time for recreational reading.

I can tell you exactly how I went wrong. When I got out of high school I decided that instead of reading whatever I felt like reading during my free time, I would instead try and read only things that pertained to my field of study. In essence, I turned my recreational time into educational time, and that educational time quickly became a null set along the zeroth basis element in Minkowski space. I was doing calculus and physics all the time in my classes, so my educational reading became unbearable and I finally set down all books but textbooks for a long time.

Finally, I feel I’ve rediscovered the joy of recreational reading. There is something about reading, I’ve observed, that facilitates the overall ability of a person to learn.

As winter break approaches, I’m sure everyone is looking forward to some time off. Instead of sitting around watching Christmas specials on TV, I’d like to suggest that you, my readers, take some time and read a book or two just for fun. I’ve put together a short reading list for your perusal and entertainment. You’ll notice my common theme of shallowly stereotyping people based on their majors and suggesting a book I think would broaden their experience. While I hope this is subtly comedic, my suggestions are, nonetheless, all excellent reads and well worth your time.

For the student of engineering, I recommend Ernest Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not. No doubt you’ve had too many technical reading assignments and you’ve failed too many tests this semester. You need a break from all things practical, so read some Hemingway and experience a bit of humanity and the beauty of language.

For the student of the natural sciences, I’d suggest any of Terry Pratchett’s excellent Discworld series of books. Pratchett does a superb job of finding hilarity in the modern world (science in particular) and forcibly inserting it into his vast parody of the universe.

For the student of computer science, I’d have to suggest Robert Louis Stephenson’s Treasure Island. Hey, if you can’t get out of the lab in the real world, you might at least have a literary swashbuckling adventure. This would also be an excellent option for design students stuck in studio.

For the student of mathematics, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams would make for a great winter read. I’m sure you’ve had enough of logic and proof, so why not peruse this oft-overlooked illogical and irreverent gem from the late Adams and take a break from the laws of reality?

For the student of parks, recreation and tourism, challenge yourself for once and take a stab at Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. No one expects you to finish it, but see how far you can get in a few weeks — the chapter devoted to clam and cod chowder is particularly exciting.

For the student of social sciences, I’d suggest finding an old copy of Konami’s Metal Gear Solid for the Playstation. It’s my reading list and I’ll suggest a video game if I want. Shoot, Konami’s thrilling masterpiece might as well be a novel anyhow; the only more literary video game is probably Betrayal at Krondor.

For the student of politics, my recommendation is Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. It’s a tremendously engrossing read, and the deliciously twisted cynicism Thompson describes is exactly the sort of stuff you’ll never really learn in a political science class.

For the student of English, I’d suggest not reading anything in particular – I’ve no doubt you’ve done enough already. Instead, watch Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan over break. You can thank me later.

Well, that about sums it up. I hope you’ll take the time to read something just for fun over winter break and maybe take a chance on one of the works I’ve listed.

E-mail Ken at [email protected].