A couple weeks ago, I was watching TV with a few friends when a commercial for the movie 300 came on. “That looks cool!” one of my friends said. “And apparently it’s based on a true story.”

“Yeah, it is,” I said, and told them the story of the battle of Thermopylae. I related how King Leonidas of Sparta, one of the greatest heroes in the history of mankind, led 1,000 Greeks in their gallant defense of the Hot Gates against some 500,000 Persians.

But as I was telling the story, a thought occurred to me: I shouldn’t have to do this.

Everyone should know the story of Thermopylae. Children should learn about Thermopylae before they learn long division; parents should read the story of Thermopylae to their 8-year-old daughters prior to putting them to bed; hell, Cocoa Krispies should come with a King Leonidas action figure, buried deep within the recesses of the box. The battle of Thermopylae should be common knowledge.

Yet it isn’t. We neglect the teaching of history in this country, and in doing so, we neglect an indispensable part of our children’s education.

First: the facts. I checked out the National Center for Educational Statistics on the Web, and found data on nationwide tests administered in mathematics, science, geography and U.S. history (which is to history in general what your pinkie finger is to your body). Eventually, I found a link to “World History,” and upon clicking there, I was informed that “The first-ever NAEP assessment of world history is scheduled to be given in 2012.” This, to my mind, is more telling than any statistic.

Closer to home, do you, reader, know who was the last person to successfully invade England? Can you, my educated friend, tell me the significance of the word Rubicon? Or, to deal with times more recent, are you aware that Joseph Stalin was responsible for the murder of twice as many people as Adolf Hitler?

If you can answer “yes” to these three questions, and are male, I would like to shake your hand, and if you are female, I would like to date you.

But the sad truth is that most people are not familiar with history and could not answer the above questions. I asked them to 10 random people walking through the door of the library, and only two of them got one question right.

“But so what?” you might say.

Why should we study history at all? What possible bearing could the assassination of Julius Caesar, which took place more than 2,000 years ago, have on our lives today? Who cares?

We study history, ladies and gentlemen, so that we may better understand our fellow man. Humanity is a fractal, and history is the overall picture. A few Athenians ruined their city through their jealousy of Alkibiades; Napoleon refused to call off the invasion of Russia, though he was advised by everyone that it must fail, and thus sacrificed 500,000 men to his pride; Spanish Inquisitors committed horrible crimes in the name of religion, fully believing that they were doing God’s will: the same self-deception that was practiced by the terrorists who attacked us on Sept. 11, and probably, if truth be told, by our current president in his war with Iraq.

Men do not change. If we wish to understand humanity, we should study history and discuss it on a regular basis. However, the opportunities for historical conversation are rare, for the simple reason that few people have sufficient knowledge of the subject to converse upon it.

So what is to be done?

Two things.

First, history should be emphasized in secondary schooling to a greater degree than it is at present. Of course, there are certain subjects students must learn, literature and science and math and foreign language; but such courses as home economics, for example, could be dispensed with. Also, world history should be emphasized at the expense of the history of the U.S.

Secondly, every person who wishes to be educated should educate himself in history (I recommend Will Durant’s The Story of Civilization, a magnificent 11-volume set) and, above all, teach his or her children to love the subject. The word “story” is a corruption of “history,” and the saga of our race is not just the greatest, but the only story ever told.

Tell Jeff he is history at [email protected].