A couple weeks ago, I attended a meeting of the Self Knowledge Symposium and met the groupÕs founder, one Augie Turak. Turak had just won $100,000 for his essay “Brother John,” which took first prize in the Templeton FoundationÕs Power of Purpose essay contest.

It was an interesting experience, and I learned a lot from Turak. But what I found most interesting was Turak’s opinion on the meaning of life. “Your purpose on Earth,” he said, “is to be the best person you can be.”

I disagree with Turak. I believe that our purpose on Earth is twofold: to be happy, and to help other people. And in the remainder of this column, I would like to expand on these two statements, which sum up my philosophy on life.

I believe that we should achieve happiness by whatever means lie within our power. I believe that if drinking beer and having sex make us happy, we should do these things. I do not agree with Turak, who said (in so many words) that persons who are content with the pleasures of the flesh are, in effect, cattle. I do not look down on people who derive their happiness from fleshly delights; so long as fleshly delights make them happy, those fleshly delights are all right with me.

I believe that we should find our own routes to happiness, our own answers. If such questions as “Where did the universe come from?” and “What is the meaning of life?” intrigue us, we should seek the answers. If, on the other hand, such questions strike us as boring and useless, we should ignore them. I believe that if we find happiness in Christianity, or Islam, or Hinduism, or any other religion, then we should practice that religion to whatever degree of intensity suits us; if, on the contrary, we do not care for religion, we should ignore it altogether.

To sum up my own feelings on religion, I may say that I have always felt very sorry for Judas Iscariot. I believe Judas was an instrument of fate, and that Jesus would have forgiven him. I do not believe in hell, nor do I believe that any human being, Judas or Hitler or anyone else, deserves to be tormented for all eternity.

I believe that we should smoke cigarettes, if cigarettes make us happy. I believe that we should have sex before marriage, if that sex makes us happy. I believe we should tell whatever jokes make us laugh, and laugh at them without feeling guilty.

However, I also believe that morality is important, and that no torturer, for example, is worth the bullet that kills him. I believe that we should not lie, that we should not steal, that we should not insult, nor malign, nor murder. And I believe that we should do good deeds for our fellow man whenever this lies within our power.

To sum up, I believe that we should refrain from hurting other people in any way, shape or form and that we should help them whenever we can.

I believe, moreover, that every person should have one ironclad moral principle, which should never be broken under any circumstances. The principle itself is not so important: What is important is that one has it and sticks to it. This principle may be a refusal to have sex before marriage, or never to speak badly of one’s friends, or to adhere strictly to one’s word, or any number of other things. We should all have some such principle, to remind ourselves that morality is real and that this universe is more than the accidental collisions of atoms.

Almost finally, I believe that we should never, under any circumstances, condemn any person for anything, unless that person has somehow harmed another person.

And finally, I believe that principles are made to be bent, rules are made to be broken, and nearly all preachers of morality (myself included) are self-contradictory hypocrites.

Make Jeff happy at [email protected].