Ever since I became a college student I have been exposed to a whole new realm of self-consciousness. I find it rather ridiculous that we are in an environment that embraces diversity, but we have no idea how to deal with it. If we don’t embrace it at all we are considered intolerant and if we do we’re labeled as different. This type of self-consciousness leads to extreme behavior that ends up doing more harm than good.
Gender roles are a defined part of American culture. No matter how progressive we think we are, those traditional ideas still stand. Today, it is still unacceptable for men to wear make-up in mainstream society; commercials for household cleaning products almost always feature women; and strict rules even dictate how we interact within our friendships.
There is a certain phenomenon among heterosexual men called “the straight seat.” Apparently if you are a heterosexual man it is distasteful to sit next to another heterosexual man in a public or private establishment. This includes sitting next to your male friend for dinner at TGI Friday’s as well as sitting together in a movie theater watching the latest Clive Owen flick; I find this concept preposterous. First of all, how does sitting next to someone for dinner make your sexuality questionable? Second of all, it’s rude to take up the otherwise free seats in the movie theater! Having an empty seat between you and a friend doesn’t make you look straight. The empty seat makes you look like a lonely soul who has no friends.
There has also been a rise in the saying “no homo.” For example, if one of your friends says, “I love you,” they may add in “no homo” to make sure you know they are straight. This phrase irritates me to the upmost, it is disrespectful to other people and it makes the person who is saying it look really insecure. I’ve gotten text messages that end in “no homo.” Using this phrase indicates that being something other than heterosexual is defective and unhealthy.
What is a real man in America? Is a real man one who watches football and has sex with countless women? How about a man who enjoys the opera and fine wine? Is the real man the family man or the business executive? From the perspective of sociology, masculinity can be defined by two factors: strength and money. If one does not have both factors he escalates the one he does have. This is the idea behind why young men from lower income households have such a problem with gang violence. Since they lack the financial aspect of masculinity, they make up for it by demonstrating their brute strength. Homophobic messages are then sent through rap lyrics and other forms of media to add to this distorted view of what masculinity really is. I feel that “real men” are comfortable and confident within themselves and use their positivity to influence others around them.
Take a hard look at what you are saying. Are things like “no homo” and “straight seats” reasonable? You could be offending someone else in your attempt to display your own heterosexuality. American biologist Alfred Kinsey founded the Kinsey Institute for Research for Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. His findings support that idea that most of us are on a continuum between heterosexuality and homosexuality. Before pointing fingers and making generalizations, consider the concept that sexuality is fluid.
