The student protests against NC State’s campus transit service, Wolfline, became violent after NC State police arrived on the scene. The violence was sparked as a student standing nearby — not associated with the protest and completely minding his own business — was immediately tackled by officers and arrested on the charge of his eye-color resembling Carolina blue.

The protesters began emptying trash bins and burning piles of trash, from which toxic and offensive-smelling smoke of burning cheeseburgers from Tuffy’s Diner came and effectively disoriented the police.

NC State University Police Department retorted by throwing canisters of expired milk from students’ refrigerators and hell-condemning cards from the Brickyard preacher at the mob of students to cause them to disperse.

The riots extended onto Hillsborough Street in front of D.H. Hill, where rioters looted Crepe Traditions and began to throw crepes at police and at nearby Wolfline buses as well.

In response, NC State police deployed NC State basketball’s all-time leading shot blocker, BeeJay Anya, to block and catch the crepes thrown by rioters 

He was reportedly still sitting at the sidelines at Duke University after the Wolfpack win last Monday when the police summoned him.

“Y’all got anymore of those crepes?” Anya asked, munching on a cinnamon crème crepe he saved from hitting a Gorman Street bus.

“I’m all for the cause, but don’t they remember that MLK or Ghandi said ‘hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that’?” said Whyte Lib’ral, a freshman majoring in campus cry-ins and making Bernie Sanders crop tops.

“So what if marginalized people are experiencing problems that I don’t? I have to police their tone and preach pacifism and unknowingly undermine their resistance. Love trumps hate,” Lib’ral said.

A student reportedly vandalized one of the buses by spray-painting “Smash capitalism” on it, took a photo of it with their $800 iPhone 7, then boarded the bus because they needed it to get to class.

“Nothing’s ever been achieved by marching or protesting,” said Mittens Romney, an intern for Tomi Lahren, the only racist talking Pez dispenser in Conservative news outlets. “A woman’s right to vote and to go to college was not achieved through this, but by being proud Americans and fighting against Colin Kaepernick’s unforgiving terrorism.”

At press time, a Wolflink Shuttle transit driver asked students to step out of the rear doorway before the bus departed.