When I was preparing my speech for Convocation, on Facebook I asked recent NC State graduates a question. Wait, what… why am I on Facebook?

Aside from the fact that I am old but not yet dead, I am a professor. We university professors are more than teachers. We are all thinkers and researchers.

We, professors, know stuff in a way very few people in the world know stuff. Please then, do yourself a favor, and drop your arrogant, immature belief that you already know enough or even know what you are doing. Do not come into my class on interpersonal relationships with that attitude because I will be quick, firm and unsympathetic as I disabuse you of that notion.

We university professors have studied what we study in excruciating detail. Here at NC State, we have our own “Bones,” for howl’s sake; Dr. Ann Ross, Director of the Forensic Sciences Institute. 

We professors have done research, created new knowledge, published that new knowledge, that other people only read about in order to teach it in a very superficial way. When we teach, whatever we teach, our teaching is not superficial.

You are here as a student. You are not an expert at anything. You are here to be a learner. But we professors, we know stuff.

I am a social psychologist. I am a scientist who for 35 years has studied how and why people interact with, and think about interacting with, other people in relationships, and in and between groups. You can find my books in our library and in libraries all over America.

In the future we are already living in I am on Facebook studying how people interact in that new part of the social world.  So, yes, on Facebook I asked a question.

I asked recent graduates this: What one thing do you wish the speaker at Convocation had said to you, and all the gathered new students, that you now know would have helped you adjust more quickly to being a university student at NC State?

Howling responses to my Facebook query came quick, loud and fit into what I said in my Convocation speech to the class of 2021; be open and be serious. One recent graduate wanted me to tell you this:

“It’s totally ok to eat a meal by yourself. You won’t be the only one.”

Reading that I thought of course, on a campus of 35,000 young people busy trying to get somewhere, that can happen. But I want you to make sure it’s not happening because you are closing yourself off from new social interactions.

In fact, that was one of the other howls I got on Facebook. Be open to social interaction is what a recent NC State graduate wanted me to tell you.

He said: “I wish they would have asked me: ‘Why are you in an environment filled with 35,000+ students at the biggest university and yet, you shun yourself by listening to your earbuds all day?!?’ There’s nothing to be afraid of, when these students feel the exact same as you. Learning to talk to people is one of the most important things in society today! #Communicate #StopTheEarBudMadness”

Two recent NC State graduates howled about being open to asking questions. One said: “When I walked in as a student at NC State I was ready to start but not ready to ask the questions I needed.”

Another said: “I wish someone had told me that all students are trying to figure it out. So while I looked around thinking everyone knew something that I didn’t, they were all thinking the same thing. If I would have known that then I would’ve asked more questions. I didn’t ask questions because I didn’t want to look like I didn’t belong.”

Ask questions, these two alumni are telling you. And they are right; you will be experiencing so much that is new, you need to ask questions when you have them. Just be sure to ask people who are in a position to know, or to know who to send you to for a real answer.

A number of the recent NC State graduates who responded to my Facebook question wanted me to tell you about being open to opportunities.

One said: “There are millions of opportunities here on campus. Don’t limit yourself and do take advantage of it while you can because you just never know what may come your way. You may have come here to do one thing but don’t be afraid of change and be the person who you want to be.”

Another put a caution on that, wanting me to make sure I also tell you to: “Slow down and that sometimes, less is more. We hear so much about jumping in and getting involved that we lose the importance of slowing down, reflecting, and being present in the moment.”

About my other message to you to “be serious” when you are here, well, a few of the NC State graduates howled about that too. Two recent graduates want you to have a serious and mature understanding of the challenges before you.

One said: “I wish someone would have said ‘these might not be the BEST four years of your life. They will be hard, you will struggle, but you will learn from the struggles and look back fondly.’ I thought I was weird or different for struggling with various things my first year. I thought college wasn’t for me and I asked my mom if I could come home. But the more I spoke to my peers, I learned I wasn’t alone. It’s harmful to send the message to students that it’s always the best four years.”

Another recent graduate gave that point howling emphasis.  She said: “I wish someone would have told me and probably others that I would fail a few quizzes, papers, tests, and feel like a complete failure since I had a 4.0+ in high school. That it’s okay to fail a test or two because you can STILL come out with a good grade. I spent more time my freshman year feeling like I didn’t belong at NC State because I wasn’t smart enough than actually understanding that college is far different from high school and I wish SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME!”

“For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.”

That is the howl of the Wolfpack. You will hear that over and over again during your time at NC State. But trust me, that is not about basketball, football or any sport. That is about the heart of the University’s social life and academic work.

Before you got here we were doing serious work. After you graduate and leave, we will be doing serious work. And while you are here, we have serious work to do and you will have the chance to do work to improve and change our world. All of you will have the chance to contribute to that work because everybody here is Wolfpack.

Finally, with all that said, I leave you with one more alumni howl. In a way that connects my messages of be open and be serious with the advice you have just received from alumni, another recent NC State graduate wants me to tell you this: “Not all lessons will come from a classroom. Some will come from experiences living on campus, being involved with a group or simply by walking through the brickyard during a protest. Challenge yourself to expand the idea of the classroom to the wider world and take in this time. It goes by so quickly.”

Wolves do not howl at the moon. Science has discovered that wolves howl to signal danger and to guide each other to safety. Wolves howl to call each other together to nurture and protect the pack. As you wolf-cubs settle into your life in our Pack, please heed those howls you have just heard from the elders (the newest alumni) of the Wolfpack.

#GoPack

Dr. Nacoste is Alumni Distinguished Undergraduate Professor of Psychology. He is the author “Howl of the Wolf: North Carolina State University Students Call Out For Social Change,” (2012: Lulu.com) and “Taking on Diversity: How we can move from anxiety to respect,” (2015; Prometheus Books).