While the holidays are touted as a time for philanthropy and expressing gratitude, the highlight for many people is the exchange of gifts. Without presents, the most wonderful time of the year would surely not be wonderful. Yet, there are meaningful ways to show appreciation for loved ones without having to empty our wallets.

Don’t get me wrong; I love receiving gifts, and there is nothing inherently wrong with spending money for the sake of someone else. In fact, the act of giving gifts may be more rewarding than getting them, as it can increase happiness, promote social harmony and improve overall health. 

The issue with placing an emphasis on gift-giving is it can shift focus away from the things that truly matter, such as spending quality time with family and friends. This engenders an attitude that physical possessions are needed to demonstrate love and generate happiness. 

Then, there is the issue of finding just the right gift, a time-consuming process not guaranteed to be worth it. Many of us know the feeling of receiving a less than stellar present, and feigning excitement to save face for the other person. According to one survey, 61% of Americans admit they receive at least one unwanted item each year, totaling a loss of $15.2 billion. 

Indeed, gifts tend to be costly forms of generosity, especially for the average college student. From textbooks to groceries, the list of financial responsibilities facing students is long, but that doesn’t stop them from spending during the holidays. In a college survey conducted last year, over half of the participants expected to spend over $100 on Christmas gifts and 23% expected to spend over $200. 

Yet, this isn’t simply a case of students being unwise with their money. Exchanging gifts this time of year has become more of a societal obligation than a voluntary act of goodwill. If you care about someone, there is an expectation you will get them a gift and vice versa. When we fail to follow this unspoken rule, whether due to money constraints or some other reason, we run the risk of losing approval and weakening our relational bonds with others.

However, not being able to afford a gift does not mean you’re unkind. While it would be nice to give thanks to each of our friends and family members with material tokens of affection, to be expected to do so at this point in our lives is unrealistic. Instead, we should focus on forging ties and memories that last a lifetime. 

Although gift-exchanges in any form can strengthen the bonds we share with others, giving experiences has been shown to be more effective in fostering stronger relationships than giving items. This is due to the fact that experiences take longer to consume, which results in stronger emotional responses. Think of the adrenaline of riding a roller coaster and the fear that comes along with ice skating. Furthermore, the happiness derived from experiential gifts are greater in the moment and actually increases over time, while satisfaction with items decreases with time.

Not only does purchasing experiences leave you happier, they can also be less expensive overall. When you decide to spend money on a single activity that can be enjoyed with multiple people, you don’t have to worry about tailoring gifts to every individual. Some affordable activities include crafting, hosting a fun movie night or even volunteering for a good cause. 

All in all, presents are hardly ever an unappreciated gesture of benevolence, but no one should feel obligated to give for the sake of tradition. If you are bent on treating your friends and family to a holiday they will never forget, turn away from your Amazon shopping cart and consider investing in an experience. You and your bank account won’t regret it.