Well, here we are. I have been trying to write the beginning of this letter for the past three days. Starting something and then deleting it because no words can describe my experience at Technician.
You know you always think of writing something. Maybe a maid of honor speech for your best friend in a couple of years, or your end-of-year research paper you’ve been working on all semester. This is different.
How can I write a 1,000-word letter explaining how I have grown into the human I am today? Okay, that sounds a little dramatic, but let me take you down memory lane.
I joined Technician my second semester of freshman year. Being a freshman was hard enough, and I was searching for my community. I had already tried rushing sororities or joining clubs on campus that didn’t align with my interests.
After writing a few stories for a couple of months, I remember walking into my interview with a green-and-blue resume and a dream with no experience, but having worked as a waitress throughout high school. Shout out to Mamma Mia’s.
Somehow, I was hired as Assistant News Editor for Volume 104. This is the first lesson Technician taught me:
Even if you are the least experienced in the room, you are in the damn room.
Looking back, I wish I had realized that, but instead I morphed into what I know best: the personality hire. Every Tuesday night for the next four years would see me cracking jokes, making people laugh and attempting to make everyone enjoy the eight-plus hours we were locked in Witherspoon Student Center.
Tuesday nights for me then were not only a workspace to present news stories to students on campus, but a place for me to finally be myself on a campus of 40,000 students, 500 miles away from home.
As my second year rolled around and Vol. 105 started, things changed. The funny thing about the world in general is people do not see things the way you do and looking back, that’s ok.
I was challenged in ways I didn’t even know were possible. The world of journalism is competitive, and I, at the time, did not think I was ready for it.
My work ethic was questioned. My personality was seen as a distraction. I wasn’t taken as seriously as before. I simply did not fit in anymore in this area, which had felt so safe a couple of months earlier. This is how I learned my second lesson at Technician:
Other people’s opinions do not define you.
As hard as my second year at Technician was, there were also great memories. I grew closer to friends and realized I didn’t want to be a journalist after all.
I know this sounds depressing, but without Technician I would not be in the position I am today.
After writing a piece on a Palestine Vigil on campus in the depths of the Israel-Hamas war, I realized I could not keep my morals out of my writing. I was told that my viewpoints have to remain consistent with the publication, even though they go against the wishes of those I interviewed who asked to remain anonymous.
One thing about journalistic ethics is remaining unbiased. I can proudly say Technician is an unbiased news source for those on campus. In no way or form am I trying to insinuate that Technician does not take matters affecting students seriously, but that’s where I got lost.
I was labeled as too sensitive to write news reporting. No amount of training would prepare me to report on matters I feel so deeply about. I wished I could’ve been strong enough to report on these matters, and self-disappointment struck.
Technician exposes you to the positionalities of individuals you would not encounter as an everyday student on campus. It’s a hard wake-up call to see students suffering or in need and you can not do anything about it except create awareness.
Here is where I learned the hardest lesson at Technician:
You are the change you want to see.
I did not want to be defined or remembered by how many articles I wrote, awards I won, praises I got from my superiors or how this experience could be used as a resume builder. I wanted a space for change.
Coming into Vol. 106 as University News Editor, my motive was different. Instead of focusing on writing news stories, I focused on encouraging my team of news writers not only to be the best reporters in the country, which they are, but also to have agency.
A voice can go a long way, even if it is just for awareness. After being here for four years, I can proudly say that this recent volume, at 106, is the epitome of pure journalism.
In the news section, we reported roughly 30 protests on and off campus, 20 student government decisions that affected the student body and roughly 15 student organizations.
We showed up and proved that we are not just all individuals under one publication, we are the publication.
There’s no rulebook for life, and you can try to put one on journalism, but at the end of the day, we are all students, human beings attempting to make this dark, scary world a little less grey.
Although I am thankful for the lessons I learned at Technician, I’m glad to be leaving. I, along with many others, can say this was one of the hardest personal journeys we have ever experienced.
However, I did not go through this journey alone. Here are my thank-yous to the people who encouraged me and made the hard times feel worth it enough to stay through.
To Skye, our current editor-in-chief, you were with me from the beginning. You sat with me during every moment of both of our self-doubts and sleepless nights. You were one of my first friends in college, and without you, this publication would not be what it is today. I am proud to work alongside you; we made this change. Also, I will not stop calling you 24/7 and asking about Rumpel.
To Matthew, I admire you. If anyone takes anything away from this letter, know that this man right here held the news section when I couldn’t. It was a pleasure to work with you and rant about Fortnite or Vivaldi. You will do amazing things, and I’ll miss seeing you every week.
To Nicole, you are one of the hardest-working people I know. You did the thang and I will miss coming into your office to just stare at you when things were slow on production night.
To Jakob, thank you for continuing Elvis Presley’s legacy. It reminded me of the simpler times. To be known is to be seen, and as my number-one ragebaiter, you are now free of entertainment. Keep going strong, you will do amazing things as editor-in-chief next year.
To Jackson, I could not have been luckier to have someone as a personal assistant. Just kidding, but I will miss bickering like siblings. Thank you for your dining dollars, but most importantly, thank you for also wanting change. I couldn’t be happier to hand over the news section to someone who genuinely cares about the impact of reporting. NC State, you’re in good hands.
To Damien, Caroline, John and my news section, you kept me going. I hope your following years at Technician are nothing but what we created; a space for you to advocate for students and yourselves. Remain strong, I know you got this.
To Connor, thank you for the lols and the constant reminders of things that happened outside the office. You know, and sorry for thinking you were in the year below me 24/7.
To Daniel, thank you for the crosswords and for leaving the news section right after you became sports editor. The two news articles you wrote were amazing. Maybe you should consider not going for the gutters, but a news publication instead. I still think you look like Noah Kahan. #StickSeason
To Brennan, thank you for sitting beside me during that one Technician Talks podcast. Sharing a mic is a privilege. I hope you continue to include the news section with sports every once and awhile next year.
To Alex, thank you for your reels and the dinner runs. I appreciate the constant photo help and I don’t know how you were able to manage all that by yourself. To be or not to be is the question, right? Good luck next year, I’ll miss your random phone calls.
To Olivia and Kelsey, thank you for girl power. I loved eavesdropping every time you were watching Dancing with the Stars. I know you are both destined for amazing things. Good luck in grad or law school, you two!
To Jordan and Rory, thank you for letting me come over to your side of the office at 10 p.m. Jordan, thank you for the laughs and the lore, and Rory, thank you for listening.
To Amaya, I hope you get to see Beyoncé again. You deserve it after all the hard work you did.
To Hector, I’m still waiting for my Tech Talks video.
To Ben, thank you for always fixing my punch cards and encouraging me to work in the field of History. You made me realize these lessons had meaning.
To Cate Humphreys, Vol. 105 Photo Editor, thank you for being my best friend. This year was lonely without you, but you were with me every night. I love you and can’t believe you are at UNC for grad school.
To Mom, Dad, Gracie, Sophie and Rachelle, the five people who sat down with me to hear me rant and rave or boost ideas to better the publication. You wanted me to leave and create a boundary, but I am glad I stayed. It made me a better person and friend/daughter to you in the end.
To everyone who reads Technician, thank you for your attention. Keep reading and trusting the people who report to you. They have your interest at heart.
Finally, to my younger self, good work.
