We’ve all experienced that feeling of knowing that one day, when it’s all said and done, we’ll be compared to someone in our family. Our parents will never come right out and say, “Oh why can’t you be like your older brother.” Or, “Your sister did well in school, so why can’t you?” They don’t say these things because our parents want us to feel good about ourselves and what we’re doing. But we all know, in the back of their heads, that they want their kids to be as successful as the ones before and those after.

In some ways I believe our parents put us in a competition to see which child can accomplish most become the most successful. I know this very well. It’s never spoken of in my family, but my siblings and I know there clearly is a contest to make our parents the most proud.  We each try to set the bar higher than the last to prove to our parents that we’re the smartest, or most athletic, in the family.

It was watching my eldest sister receiving her Master’s degree when I finally noticed how proud my father was at that moment. I finally realized that to get the same reaction from my father, I have to do something just as great or even better.

I’d have a long way to go if I started comparing myself to my sister. She’s has a master’s degree in the medical field, a family of her own, and works at a very well-known hospital. I have some seriously big shoes to fill in what seems like a short amount of time.

What makes it even worse–and I’m sure plenty of y‘all can understand my pain–is that I’m the youngest. People don’t expect you to be as successful as your siblings because you’re used to being “babied” your whole life. This is especially a problem when your parents excuse any mistakes you may make because you’re the “baby.” And when you’re the baby, it’s okay.

But in my family it’s not okay to screw up just because you’re the baby. It makes me want to work 10 times harder to prove to everyone—especially my siblings—that I’m capable of doing bigger and better things than all of them combined. You may think I’m this selfish person who only wants to brag about how obviously better I am than my siblings, but that’s far from the case. Instead, I just want to verify that I need no one to hold my hand in order to do great things.

I’m sure we all have one sibling in our family who’s glorified as though he or she is a superstar who could do no wrong. We seem to be merely average in the eyes of our parents and to the rest of the family. There always seems to be an older brother or sister who’s been declared a “beast” at academics or the star of the football field, and the younger sibling is simply the child that gets decent grades and never really shines at any sport.

Yes, I understand that I go to N.C . State and that is a great accomplishment in and of itself, but looking at the big picture and how much unintentional pressure my other siblings have placed on me, attending N.C . State is something expected of me rather than an accomplishment to those in my family.

Obviously they gave me credit where credit was due, but they and I expect much more from myself than just a BA degree in communication.  Because I know that, I’ll just have to do better. There is no way around the shadow of my older siblings.