Along with challenging schoolwork, applying for jobs and internships, getting involved in extracurricular activities and maintaining an active social life, college students must also navigate dating.
For many, college is the time to find someone you like, spend time together and create a lasting relationship. However, that’s much easier said than done.
To date, or not to date
For a variety of reasons, plenty of college students said they are not dating anyone and are not seeking a relationship.
Sam Vansant, a first-year studying paper science and chemical engineering, is not dating anyone, choosing instead to focus on his schoolwork.
“The major thing is I just want to focus on my major and getting through what I need to get through with classes and things I want to involve myself in,” Vansant said. “People are always gonna be there, but this opportunity in front of me is not. I want to take advantage of the moment.”
Kendal Quinlan, a fourth-year studying education, is also not currently dating anyone, which is completely fine with her.
“No one really wants anything serious,” Quinlan said. “Everyone’s just having fun, which is fine. I’m having fun too. You never know what anyone wants. I feel like I’d rather have fun with my friends.”
Kylie Young, a fourth-year studying chemical engineering, has dated in college, but is not dating anyone currently. She says that while dating in college is fun, it has become hard to find someone to share a serious relationship with.
“It’s fun because in college you have more free time and you can do whatever you want and you don’t have to hide from your parents like when you’re little and in high school,” Young said. “But I just think college-aged men are pretty immature and emotionally unavailable.”
The apps
One way of navigating the college dating scene is through mobile apps, such as Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and others. However, not everyone is a fan of online dating apps.
Caroline St. Clair, a first-year in exploratory studies, is currently in a relationship and used to use Tinder, but her experiences with it were not good.
“It was really bad,” St. Clair said. “You get guys lying about their ages and their heights. I’m 5’4”, and I met this guy who told me he was 5’10”, and I was looking down at him.”
Grant Goelz, a first-year studying paper science engineering, is also currently in a relationship but has never considered using dating apps.
“I would say it’s just too easy,” Goelz said. “It’s just an easy way to meet people. Plus, I’m not that down bad, I feel like.”
Not all experiences with the apps are bad, however.
“One was good; I still talk to him,” Young said. “One was … saw him once, never again.”
For others, the idea of using dating apps can be tempting, but hard to follow through with.
“I’ve used it, but I’ve never actually gone through with it,” Quinlan said. “I just look on there and I delete it.”
The pandemic
Students said something that has thrown a massive wrinkle in the dating scene the last two years is COVID-19.
Josh Szep, a first-year studying criminology, said the pandemic has significantly impacted dating.
“The past couple years, there’s been a lot of distance between people, big limits on large gatherings, so you just have less opportunity to meet new people,” Szep said.
Mitchell Swicegood, a first-year studying paper science engineering, also said his dating life has been impacted by COVID-19.
“I was stuck in my house for like two years, so you couldn’t actually go out and meet people,” Swicegood said. “It was kind of like I never really had the chance.”
Young said she thinks because of less in-person interaction, online dating usage may have gone up.
“I downloaded Tinder like March 2020,” Young said. “I remember that’s when everyone was on Tinder because no one knew what to do with themselves. Recently, I don’t know if it’s been affected as much, but definitely at the beginning.”
Love will find a way
While there are obstacles and challenges to overcome when dating in college, especially over the past two years, there are also success stories.
John Stephens, a fourth-year in art studies, and Natalie Williamson, a fourth-year studying communication, just recently began dating. The two met in class and have a unique story of how their relationship came to be.
“I offhandedly made a remark at him because I saw that he had a Charmander on his backpack and said ‘Hey, I like your Charmander keychain,’” Williamson said. “He noticed that I had Animal Crossing stickers on my laptop, and so he said, ‘I like your Animal Crossing stickers,’ and the rest is history.”
Caroline Wolverton, a first-year studying social work, began her relationship as long-distance but now is dating in person.
“We did long distance before, so it’s nice that we’re at the same school,” Wolverton said. “It was hard, but we started dating that way, so it kind of was the normal for us. But now seeing what it’s like being so close, I don’t want to go back to long distance.”
Preston Miller graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill in 2020, and he has perhaps the best success story of all with his college sweetheart.
“We met our freshman year, and we ended up being in a class together,” Miller said. “We became really good friends, starting dating our junior year and then got married shortly after we graduated.”
Miller said managing a relationship in college was challenging, but through the trials and tribulations, love found a way.
“It was really fun,” Miller said. “It’s hard balancing schoolwork and maintaining other friendships and other responsibilities while also prioritizing time together, but my wife and I had a really close group of friends around us, so that definitely helped. … I think college is a really formative time in your life, so I think dating someone in college — and we were lucky enough to get married — it’s just really fun to have those memories to look back on together.”
