With the rising popularity of the DM slide and the right swipe, dating seems easier than ever. The illusion of never-ending potential partners can be equally exciting and overwhelming. But even though apps and social media have made dating more accessible, many of these connections don’t make it off the app.

Online dating has made it easier to be less accountable for ghosting, bailing and mistreatment of potential partners. Dating apps can make people seem utterly disposable, leading to 78% of users feeling emotionally, mentally or physically exhausted.

Although many issues with modern dating can come from dating apps, it doesn’t just end there. America is in a romantic recession. Overall, people are dating less, and they cite economic concerns, political polarization and dating app fatigue as the reasons. 

An incredibly strange aspect of this phenomenon is that people are planning plenty of dates, they just aren’t showing up to them. This culture of ghosting leads to low expectations and disillusionment with the process of dating.

Lisa Paciulli, a senior lecturer with the Department of Biological Sciences who teaches the Biology of Love and Sex, believes that dating apps have normalized bailing, which leads to sadness and confusion.

“Ghosting is more common now than it used to be. Some studies indicate that 85% of Gen Z and Millennials have experienced ghosting. 67% of people who have been ghosted have also ghosted someone else,” Paciulli said. “Ghosting has become normalized. If you’re on dating apps, you just message the next person.”

Many people don’t see ghosting as a big deal and do not have malicious intent. They may just lose interest, have a fear of intimacy or get wrapped up in their busy life. But ghosting can cause serious harm.

“Some people consider ghosting to be cyber dating abuse. A study found that people, mostly women, can use silence to punish their partners,” Paciulli said. “People who are likely to ghost are also likely to use aggressive language.”

Aside from just bailing on dates and ghosting, “breadcrumbing” is a new practice that is taking the dating world by storm. Breadcrumbing is when you maintain inconsistent communication — or “crumbs” of conversation — to keep a person interested without pursuing anything serious. 

“People have been strung along and get that message once a week — it’s manipulation. There are studies on people who have experienced ghosting and breadcrumbing and it has a psychological impact on them,” Paciulli said. “People reported less satisfaction with life and feeling more helpless.”

Dating in the digital age is the opposite of easy. Having the whole world at our fingertips gives us the opportunity to be exposed to new ideas and people, but also pressures us to be always available in a way that wasn’t expected in the past. 

Kami Kosenko, an associate professor in the Department of Communication who teaches Sexual Communication, explained the difficulty that comes with the expectation of communicating with  potential partners at all times.

“With so much technology at our fingertips there’s this assumption of being constantly available and in constant contact with other people,” Kosenko said. “That can weigh on people and make it difficult to want to be accessible and available.”

Along with the expectation to be constantly online, hiding behind a dating profile that doesn’t portray every aspect of your life and personality can also make it easier for people to mistreat potential connections. An online persona encourages people to do things they would never consider doing in-person.

“The anonymity that technology affords can sometimes put us in a position where we’re not going to be on our best behavior. People are emboldened by anonymous posting abilities where they feel confident saying things they normally wouldn’t say to someone face-to-face,” Kosenko said. “That can result in some problematic online dating experiences.”

Regardless of intention, be mindful of how your actions impact others when dating. Constant cancellations and missed messages can’t be excused by online anonymity. Don’t be afraid to follow through on that date, it really might start with a swipe.